Shiny disco balls

I think my life is now complete. Sunny Leone and Yo Yo Honey Singh at one place, in one photo, looking as awesome as two people can ever look. Thank you, Universe.

At a promotional gig for Ragini MMS 2

At a promotional gig for Ragini MMS 2

She is wearing the shiny outfit but for some reason he is glowing. Sigh. Everything is perfect in the world now.

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Screen Awards red carpet

The Screen Awards took place and we all held our breath just waiting to know who went home with the coveted trophy. But when it comes to the telecast, we don’t have a seven second delay but more like a seven week delay. So you will have to wait a little longer to know the winners. Or you could just Google it. Whatever.

Abhay Deol and Preeti Desai

Abhay Deol and Preeti Desai in a Bare in Black gown

This couples’ tanning thing really works. A little too well.

Adhuna and Farhan Akhtar

Adhuna and Farhan Akhtar

I love Adhuna’s quirky sense of style. It’s like her way of rebelling against the ‘star-wife’ label. More power to you, girl. And that is how you wear a velvet waistcoat with Jodhpur-ish pants.

Aditi Rao Hydari in Harsh Harsh

Aditi Rao Hydari in Harsh Harsh

This needs something more happening. It all seems very flat and sort of like a snorefest.

Anjana Sukhani

Anjana Sukhani

Dude, is that a full and final velvet gown!? Talk about subtle use of fabric.

Bipasha Basu in Manish Malhotra

Bipasha Basu in Manish Malhotra

And that is how you wear velvet and an anarkali. In small doses and with less ghera, respectively. She really is looking good, no? Maybe marriage is the answer.

Boman Irani

Boman Irani

Yes, I will shake your hand but only because you are awesome.

Chitrangda Singh in Dior

Chitrangda Singh in Dior

If her last look was all about drama this is a little anticlimatic. Maybe another colour or a more glamorous hairstyle would have worked. But don’t worry, Chitrangda, the world (my amma and I) still loves you.

Deepika Padukone in Alexander McQueen

Deepika Padukone in Alexander McQueen

I suspect this one has gone a little wrong. I can’t point out why exactly. But feel is not coming. Like kuch kuch nahi hota hai when I see this gown. Could it be because Kate Hudson wore it to the Golden Globes LAST YEAR?

Divya Dutta

Divya Dutta

Take a beach holiday, woman and go drown that attire while you are at it.

Yo Yo Honey Singh

Yo Yo Honey Singh

He is making some very rude gestures but given the nature of his lyrics I should not be surprised.

Huma Qureshi

Huma Qureshi in Nikhil Thampi

Yes, the sun really does shine out of Huma Qureshi’s ear. Even Kalki Koechlin seems to think so…

Kalki in Nikhil Thampi

Kalki in Nikhil Thampi too

We get it. Huma is not responsible for Kalki’s divorce. You guys are the best of friends and you, Kalki, even helped Huma into that earpiece type-thingy. That ornament has a legitimate name but I’ve forgotten it. And I refuse to Google it since the Internet and I are currently in a complicated relationship.

This is one of Huma’s better looks. The dress fits her curves well and for once her hair is doing good things. But I’m thinking I should just give up on cribbing whenever people bastardise the sari. I can see Kalki’s leg. Should she not be wearing a petticoat underneath? My grandmother would not approve.

Juhi Chawla

Juhi Chawla

Why is she still promoting Son of Sardar?

In Shantanu & Nikhil

In Shantanu & Nikhil

No, no, no. Kajol, don’t fall back into your old trap. You were doing so well. This look seems so closed-up and nun-like. Unless… she is trying to cover a big old hickey. That’s one expensive way of doing it, if you ask me. Just paste on a bandage next time.

In Ranna Gill

In Ranna Gill

Look who’s back! And I have nothing unpleasant to say about Neha Dhupia. Except maybe… actually, no. But, I do want to wake up next to that cuff every morning and bring it breakfast in bed.

Nimrat Kaur

Nimrat Kaur

I’m loving the hint of boobies, sorry décolletage and the hair pulled away to show them off. Yet, I’m unsure of the puffed sleeves.

Ranveer Singh

Ranveer Singh

The velvet jacket with the waistcoat seems a bit much. Like it was initially a three-piece tux, but since he is Ranveer Singh and eccentric and all that, his stylist chose the blue jacket.

Wearing Innana by Monica & Karishma

Wearing Monica & Karishma

Do you think it’s just that some people can’t pull-off gowns as well as others can? There really is nothing horrifyingly wrong with the look, apart from the fact that the pattern overwhelms and the stylist should have put her hair up. As in Richa Chadda’s.

Sona Mohapatra

Sona Mohapatra

This is how Anarkali (the person, not the trend) must have looked and felt like when the last brick was laid.

In an Amit GT gown

In an Amit GT gown

I don’t know what Sonakshi Sinha or her stylist have been smoking but pat yourselves on the back and roll another one.

In Gaurav Gupta

In Gaurav Gupta

This dress on Shruti Hassan reminds me of a cold night at the graveyard. Let me hasten to assure you that Shruti does not look like the undead, far from it, but something about the blue and black and net gives me an eerie feeling.

In Amritraj Bora

In Amritraj Bora showing way too much of her Boras

As does this one on Sonal Chauhan. Somewhere a koli has lost the day’s catch.

In a Manish Malhotra sari

In a Manish Malhotra sari

Who sends her invites and why? At least Sophie Chaudhary has the decency to dress well.

PS: Raise your hand if you are missing Sonam Kapoor.