Have you Sinha?

Sonakshi Sinha has come a long way. From being Salman Khan’s movie accessory to being Arjun Kapoor’s movie accessory, the journey has been arduous, mostly for people who watched her in all those movies (Sorry, a Lootera can only get you so far. Like if your career is a train journey, Lootera will take you from Churchgate to Dadar, tops. After that you’re on the mercy of Kaali-Peelis, and most of them will prolly say no because they have other important things to do, like scratch their balls and perm their hair.)

Embed from Getty Images

From a fashion perspective, it’s been an evolution, and it gladdens my jaded heart to watch her go from being swaddled in all black to all these fashion experiments that I fondly refer to as the Sonam Kapoors.

Unfortunately, as we know, not all Sonam Kapoors are always hits.

In the one above for example, I’m expecting some spontaneous cray version of Bollywood Flamenco Moon Worship Dance, which she does to get The Mask’s attention…

hqdefault

(I’m coming baby!)

…as he somersaults into the frame and whisks her away to the dulcet tunes of Copa Cabana, to a land far, far away where scripts for movies like Tevar and Action Jackson are used to make papier mache which is then used to make Leo DiCaprio idols.

To be fair (and what am I if not fair, huh?) the top is cute. But that fishtail skirt. I mean, it’s only genius if it’s subtly telling us the story of the Little Mermaid, you know, all she wanted was to be a part of the world above her hence the moon and the… hang on. There are 2 moons.

I give up.

 

Advertisements

Sanskar and sweat stains

Sonam-Salman-PRDP

The trailer of Prem Ratan Dhan Payo hit the web giving us an instant dose of sanskar. I touched my mother’s feet and she actually placed her hand lovingly on my head instead of whacking the back of my head (tapli style) like she normally does.

Sonam Kapoor channeled all that sanskar in this Anamika Khanna look. She even added a maang tikka just in case we did not get the point.

Salman Khan, though, was like, Fuck this shit. I’m wearing a shirt and jeans and sweat stains.

Katti Batti was screened. People came to watch it

Kangana

By now Kangana Ranaut has had to attend so many movie promotion events that she’s like, “Fuck you! I’m gonna leave my house in bathroom chappals. Try and stop me. No, no. Just try.”

Sonam
Sonam Kapoor will NEVER think like that.

Huma
Huma Qureshi wants you to know that she thinks she looks great. Yes, Huma, we get it. You do look good here.

Aditi
Gladiator sandals! The best trend since bathroom chappals. Also, why don’t we talk more about how Aditi Rao Hydari’s fashion choices are pretty much always on point? I think that’s a conversation we should all be having.

Neha
I can’t tell you how glad I am that we can now wear sneakers with dresses. I know that’s been the trend for a while now but until EVERYONE in Bollywood does not do it how can the rest of us?

Richa
Anytime I see a Richa Chadda photo it feels like she’s verbalising her inner thoughts. Like she’s always being snapped mid conversation. Or maybe I just chose this photo on purpose. Also, that top is super trippy.

Baith Jaiye

Embed from Getty Images

Not sure if Rekha or Sonam Kapoor. Though if we’re looking at where they are on the railway journey of their movie career, one can assume they’re at the same platform, warily checking each other out and commending themselves for looking more youthful than the other at the very least. Sonam Kapoor, who is often lauded for her choice in clothes and one liners, looks completely off her game in this heavy gold saree and strict hostel matron hair, unless she has been approached to play Sonia Gandhi and no one bothered to tell the media because after Dolly ki Doli no one really cares anyway. Also I have this mad urge to touch her feet and ask for her blessing before I go give my board exams.

I think all that gold has hypnotised me.

Kya Khoob Khoobsurat

Sonam Kapoor launched the trailer of Khoobsurat which is an adaption of Rekha’s film of the same name but with a different-ish plotline.

Sonam Kapoor

Sonam’s in Australian designer Toni Maticevski’s silk, diamond and skull print dress. I’ve stared so long and hard at the dress to find the diamond and skull prints that now I can see them in 3D.

Sonam Kapoor1I spent even more time wondering why she wore two different coloured and shaped earrings. Turns out it’s a take on the ‘misfit’ in the film’s tagline – the royal misfit. Let’s not make this a thing, guys. Spend those extra five minutes looking for the matching earring.

Sonam Kapoor2And being the fabulous actor that she is, Sonam perfectly emulated how I look when I do not visit the parlour for a few weeks. Only I don’t look this good.

Sonam Kapoor3

And here she is doing an imitation of me emerging after a hair bath. Only I’m crabby because shampoo has gotten into my eyes and now I’m late for work and there are water stains on my top.

Sonam Kapoor4

That’s her being me as I try to convince my parents to frame at least one photo of me and put it up next to the ones they have of all my well-educated and married cousins.

Fawad Khan

And behold the very khoobsurat (I couldn’t resist) Fawad Khan from across the border – Pakistan, not Bhutan. If your filmy repertoire extends to ‘foreign films’ then you’ve seen him in Khuda Kay Liye and in a TV show, which I suspect but cannot vouch for, that’s based on Gulzar’s life. Or it could be a love story between a poor girl and a rich guy. Either way, here’s some more eye candy to ogle.

Of babies and royalty

Grazia magazine threw a party for designer Rahul Mishra who won the prestigious Woolmark award (Google it) and it being a night of fashion, by default, Sonam Kapoor materialised.

In a Shehlaa sari by desginer Shehla Khan

In a Shehlaa sari by desginer Shehla Khan

She, with all the soft chiffon, was dressed like a maharani of a minor principality. Though, if she really was royalty, that blouse would have been frowned upon and she would have to eat her five course breakfast all by herself in the Hawa Mahal as a punishment.

Kalki is in top by Ezra and a Koecsh skirt

Kalki is in a top by Ezra and a Koecsh skirt

Kalki Koechlin was the other end of the spectrum with a short skirt and orthopedic booties. Her window top would make a great choice for lactating mothers.

Designer Rahul accompanies Sona who is in a Mango vest. Sona, not Rahul

Designer Rahul accompanies Sona who is in a Mango vest. Sona, not Rahul

Another great choice for nursing women is Sona Mohapatra’s vest that comes with easy to undo buttons and a pocket watch for timely feedings.

I feel like I should explain all the references to pregnancy. I’ve just finished reading a book where the protagonist has given birth and there are chapters dedicated to breastfeeding and diaper changing. So, I thought, I should share.

Show and tell

Let’s clear something up. Anupam Kher’s new talk show The Anupam Kher Show – Kucch Bhi Ho Sakta Hai will never be near as awesome as The Neelam Show. So, in Anupam Kher’s show, Anupam Kher gets celebrities to open up about life, love and leisure, at the end of which, I doubt, they even get a Koffee hamper. So the whole show is pointless.

In a Giambattista Valli Resort 2013 dress with Louboutins and earrings designed by mum Sunita Kapoor

In a Giambattista Valli Resort 2013 dress with Louboutins and earrings designed by mum Sunita Kapoor

 

Sonam Kapoor dropped by with cousin Arjun where they must have spoken about growing up in only a 5 BKH with two gardens bungalow and how it sucked to have a free pass into the industry with such little talent. (Aside: Actually, Arjun’s life was not that much of a cake walk. So, I’m sure he had some heartwarming stuff to speak about.) Sonam was in a contrast printed dress that I don’t have too much to complain about. It’s not yuck, neither is it wow. It’s more of a meh. And sometimes meh is good. We all need a little meh in our lives.

Grazia Young Fashion Awards

The Grazia (A guy friend pronounced it as grey-zee-ya and that’s how I’ve saved his number.) Young Fashion Awards were held and the, seemingly, fashionable people of the industry were in attendance.

Sonam is all the coolest brands

Sonam in all the coolest brands

Sonam Kapoor, as always, wore all of Paris Fashion Week. That’s a Jean Paul Gaultier suit, a Chanel bag, a Givenchy necklace and Alexander McQueen shoes. Even if she wanted to go all androgyny on us she could have had her person take the jacket in an inch or two.

In Nikhil Thampi

Esha Gupta in Nikhil Thampi

I always wonder about innerwear whenever I see a dress with such a high slit. Going commando might be too risky so do they wear a thong with sides that go really high or is there a stick on silicone underwear that holds everything in place like bras do? So many questions such little importance. In all this, I almost missed the gorgeous zipper detailing on the thigh.

Wearing Namrata Joshipura

Wearing Namrata Joshipura

I know that as an, allegedly, self-actualised woman I am supposed to be comfortable in my own skin but Lisa Haydon’s sheer perfection is making that very difficult. She just makes the rest of us look like dog shit.

In a Vivienne Westwood dress

In a Vivienne Westwood dress

That’s a supremely cute dress. Richa Chadda does not do cute. She should give it a shot more often, though. Also, she could try an expression that’s not one of cold impatience.

In In Farah Sanjana

In Farah Sanjana

Priyanka Bose’s (Johnny Gaddaar, Guzaarish) maxi is so far whacked-out that I might just like it. Incidentally, my father came back with a similar image when he went to see the flamingos at Sewri.

Anushka Manchanda in Anand Bhushan

Anushka Manchanda in Anand Bhushan

It was awfully quiet this weekend near my house. Now I know why.  The guys in my wadi could not play their game of volleyball because they could not find their net.

In Pankaj and Nidhi

In Pankaj and Nidhi

The dress is perfect and age-appropriate and weather-appropriate on Shraddha Kapoor. It’s the styling that falters a little. A black clutch with nude shoes and nude-r lips? What happened to good old fuchsia?

A reminder in case we forget the real issues in life

A reminder in case we forget the real issues in life

Tisca Chopra’s hair is playing spoilsport so you can’t clearly read what’s written. It reads ‘#Selfie’ and it’s by the brand Huemn. So, get this – a design house designed a t-shirt with a print that reads #Selfie (which is what Anuya does all the time when she is not thinking about taking a selfie) and Tisca, who seems like an intelligent person, chose to wear it. Willingly.

Aditi Rao Hydari in Gauri & Nainika and a Manish Arora statement neckpiece   

Aditi Rao Hydari in Gauri & Nainika and a Manish Arora statement neckpiece

Don’t be deceived, dear people. That is no gown. It’s a draped jumpsuit. If a jumpsuit is going to such lengths to camouflage its true identity, is it not better off as a gown?

Anjana Sukhani

Anjana Sukhani

The blouse would make Silk Smitha very proud and her pants are dying to be worn by Aladdin. But seriously, what is going on here? Are her pants trying to run away from the horror of the top starting with the crotch? Or her top is so grossed out by the pants that it has physically recoiled from the waistband? Only her shoes seem content in their oblivion.

Poorna Jagannathan in Gaurav Gupta

Poorna Jagannathan in Gaurav Gupta

Lamé in small doses is something I can handle but give it to me in an entire gown, draped over a few times and I’m going to want to put it through the shredder.

Sonal Chauhan in a Nikasha Lulla monstrosity

Sonal Chauhan in a Nishka Lulla monstrosity

Now this one just wants to make me jump with joy… off a cliff. Quick question. Nishka Lulla and Sonal Chauhan, should I hand you the gun or will you guys take care of this yourselves?

Bollywood's future

Bollywood’s future

When I saw this image I was like, “Wow! Someone is actually doing the whole princess thing in public and not just the demure Kate Middleton kind but the actual tiara and gown variety and that too in Bombay.” And then I looked closer and saw that these were the Femina Miss India winners and they HAVE to dress like this until they sign their first Bollywood film. So yeah, thanks for shattering my hopes, ladies.

Saree ke fall sa

I don’t see the fuss about this dhoti sari. The navari did it centuries ago and in a much classier way.

Sonam Kapoor

Everybody’s going gaga over how Sonam Kapoor picked this Tarun Tahiliani creation right off the ramp. Which only serves to give me an image of Sonam leaping up from the front row and wrestling the sari off the model.

But between the necklace and the Bottega clutch and the light makeup, I think she does fine.

Filmfare nominations orgy

Filmfare held a nomination bash to celebrate the nominees (duh!) after which the actual awards function will take place followed by an after-party and all the festivities will be capped off with a roaring party for all the losers, hosted by Vivek Oberoi, because have you seen Krrish 3?

Sonam Kapoor in Anushka Khanna

Sonam Kapoor in Anushka Khanna

I guess all of you raised your hands high enough and waved them frantically enough because here she is.

Aditi Rao Hydari

Aditi Rao Hydari

That’s a fancy sailor’s uniform, miss. What oil rig you work at?

Wearing a Pankaj & Nidhi dress

Wearing a Pankaj & Nidhi dress

Does Deepika Padukone know there is a leaking nib on her crotch? Maybe Ranveer can clean it up with his suit. That’s the only good use of it that I can think of.

In my grandfather's suit

In my grandfather’s suit

Yes, Ranveer Singh, we get it. You are allegedly Deepika’s man and hence, in your head, have arrived. Which absolves you from having to make an effort. But the fact that she does make an effort ought to be a telling sign.

Richa Chadda

Richa Chadda

Like most times, my foot has come back to shove itself into my mouth. I take back everything I said about ‘some’ people not being able to pull-off gowns well. Because something is being pulled somewhere within that gown.

In an Alexander McQueen gown

In an Alexander McQueen gown

Ah! We’ve all been young and stupid but have managed to come out unscathed. I suppose what does not kill you only makes you more skeptical. It’s only Alia Bhatt’s youth that lets her pull off the look with minimal makeup and accessories.

Divya Dutta

Divya Dutta

Ok, so maybe she does not need to drown this particular attire but she still needs to take a little vaccy.

In a Shivan & Narresh sari

Huma Qureshi in a Shivan & Narresh sari

The drape of the gown (which actually is a sari that her stylist transformed into a gown) gives me the feeling that she’s going to get on her knees and start scrubbing the floors while asking me to increase her paggar.

Jacqueline Fernandez in Emilio Pucci and in your dreams, sucker!

Jacqueline Fernandez in Emilio Pucci and in your dreams, sucker!

Now, on the other hand… this one on her knees…. I’m going to stop now. My family reads this blog.

Kalki Koechlin in Gaurav Gupta

Kalki Koechlin in Gaurav Gupta

I guess if you must go classy and all I-don’t-care-that-I’m-going-through-a-divorce-with-someone-who-pioneered-the-new-wave-of-Indian-cinema, this is the best way to dress. Sassy yet elegant. Making an effort but not too much of it.

Nimrat Kaur in an Anand Kabra web print gown

Nimrat Kaur in an Anand Kabra web print gown

This ensemble comes to you from the House of Spiderman. If you look closely at the intricate webbing, it’s an ode to Peter Parker’s superpowers and the boxy fit… that’s just a bad fit.

In a jhagmag Namrata Joshipura suit

In a jhagmag Namrata Joshipura suit

Shruti Hassan attended as a Sindhi businessman on the verge of a breakthrough deal.

Sophie Choudry in a Pankaj & Nidhi jacket

Wearing a Pankaj & Nidhi jacket

Sophie Choudary borrowed P.C. Sorcar’s coat and managed to make it look fashionable.