Priyanka’s Oscar gown so white

Priyanka Chopra attended the 88th Academy Awards and killed it in her Zuhair Murad.

It was strapless, it was sheer and it was amazing. The conservative aunties would blush at the amount of sheer but not question anyone’s upbringing. Basically, I’m saying it was sheer but not Beyoncé sheer. Beyoncé sheer is not bad. Sheer is sheer, I guess.

Someone commented that this was the perfect dress for her, that it looks like it was made for her. I completely agree.

Priyanka kept her styling simple with a dark (but not too dark) lip and a ponytail. Yup, she made a ponytail work for a zillion dollar gown.

And speaking of zillion dollars, check out her Lorraine Schwartz jewellery which costs some EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS!

She then attended the Vanity Fair party in a sequin Jenny Packham. She got time to change her make-up and earrings as well. I get this Jenny Packham gown. I mean after that clingy strapless Zuhair Murad, this column gown with the slit at the bust must feel like coming up for air.

I just hope she did not shimmy too hard on the dance floor.

Taking cover – Ranveer and Priyanka

ranveer l'officiel

How does he manage to do it? How does Ranveer Singh manage to have me thinking naughty thoughts while wearing a nath and a blouse!? He’s just exuding so much testosterone.

How did the model get this close to him and not jump his bones?

It’s interesting to see Ranveer carve such a unique fashion niche. There can be many Arjun Kapoors strutting around in their red high heels but don’t think there’ll ever be another Ranveer who wears a septum ring like it’s no big deal.

priyanka haprers

While Ranveer was off doing this, his Kashibai Priyanka Chopra was also on a magazine cover in a nath and a blazer. She looks great, no doubt, but all I have to say is that that’s what most women at weddings end up looking like once the night is winding down and they’ve had to borrow their husband’s blazer because when it’s 10 degrees (25, if you live in Bombay) and your’re at an outdoor wedding and that skimpy choli does not seem like the best idea.

Not skirting the issue

Priyanka: Guys! Ranveer’s wearing a skirt! An actual skirt with pleats and shit.

That’s right! Ranveer wore a sherwani jacket and a long skirt and was super chill in it. I mean, the guy danced in it too. This, when some of us can barely stand upright in all that cloth.

Props to him for so casually being like, Fuck you, gender rules of dressing. I want to wear a skirt and I’ll wear a damn skirt.

You know, if he next rocks up to an event in a nauvari and totally kills it, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Devil is in the details

Wearing Emporio Armani pumps

Wearing Emporio Armani pumps

Sonakshi Sinha is taking her svelte self to town and she totally should. She popped by a gallery to support an artist in this Nikhil Thampi sheath. Smart choice since there would be too much colour around anyway and she would run the risk of looking like a work of art herself.

Taking off from the metallic detailing on the hip, the shoes too are metallic but a classier shade of metal like rose gold.

Let’s talk about the aforementioned metallic detailing. This metallic detailing is a lot similar to the metallic detailing on this Alexander McQueen one wore by Priyanka Chopra to the Filmfare Awards. Okay, it might not be a LOT similar but it is a little alike. In concept mostly.

Sonakshi Sinha2

Up close, Sonakshi’s got a star tattoo an inch above her collarbone which could easily feature on BuzzFeed’s 99 Freakishly Small Girl Tattoos To Get In Prominent Places Defeating Their Purpose Of Being Freakishly Small And Hence Subtle list.

Blue is the warmest colour

Priyanka Chopra

Anuya and I watched Gunday (hey, all of us need a laugh once in a while) and we could not help but notice Priyanka Chopra’s weight loss. Our exact words were, “Dude! Her waist is tinier than Ranveer’s nipple.” We speculated that it could be in preparation for her role as Mary Kom but then we thought that if that were the case, should she not have put on muscle? This, all while, Ranveer and Arjun were beating the crap out of each other or something like that.

But I understand her choice. If I had a body like hers, I would not even bother with a figure hugging dress, I’d just leave the house wrapped in cling film. This, actually, might be one of her better looks. Not that she dresses like a homeless person otherwise. Far from it, in fact.

The McQueen fits her well and the colour is gorgeous. Her hair looks a little fried but is doing okay. It’s her cutesy shoes that don’t quite work. I get the need to balance out a sexy dress with girly heels but I’m not buying it.

It’s not over

I thought we had recovered from Awards Season flu but evidently not. We had the Zee Cine Awards to go. I’m sure a bunch of the same people won the same awards and it was all same-same but different somehow.

Sonakshi Sinha in Gauri & Nainika

Sonakshi Sinha in Gauri and Nainika

That’s an attention seeking dress. It would have been just fine without the black hangy-things but no, it craved DRAMA and now it’s slightly drunk and has dirty danced all alone and every girl hates it and the guys are amused by it. I like the wicked Manish Arora headband, though.

Genelia D'Souza in a Rohit Bal anarkali

Genelia D’Souza in a Rohit Bal anarkali

She better have a great excuse for dressing up like this. Pregnancy, maybe?

Deepika Padukone wearing Naeem Khan

Deepika Padukone wearing Naeem Khan

She better have a great reason for that headpiece. Insanity?

Vaani Kapoor in a Varun Bahl sari

Vaani Kapoor in a Varun Bahl sari

A Facebook friend wore a similar look to Amit wedS Paayal ❤ 🙂 🙂 ❤

Priyanka Chopra in a Jade sari

Priyanka Chopra in a Jade sari

Is A-okay.

Adhuna with husband Farhan Akhtar. See what I did there

Adhuna with husband Farhan Akhtar. See what I did there?

Complete respect for Adhuna. I can only imagine the number of panties that get mailed to their home every day. And she seems like she’ll be all ‘meh’ about it. And then leave the house looking nothing but awesome and exactly how she wants to.

Yami Gautam in a Sonakshi Raaj fishtail gown

Yami Gautam in a Sonakshi Raaj fishtail gown

It’s a great colour and the bottom-half fits well but the bodice is too structured. Like her boobies have got their very own cage.

Amrita Rao wearing a Monica & Karishma creation

Amrita Rao wearing a Monica & Karishma creation

What is it with Amrita Rao and her stylist? They can never get it bang on. There’s always something amiss like a stale prawn biryani. It’s biryani and it’s prawns – a great combination – but they are stale. I’m not apologising for that analogy. It’s lunch time.

Priyanka Alva and Vivek Oberoi

Priyanka Alva and Vivek Oberoi

They are the anti Posh and Becks. They are Pinky and Vics from Jogeshwari.

With Javed Akhtar

With Javed Akhtar

Clearly, Shabana Azmi’s style inspiration is an African tribal chieftain.

Filmfare Awards

The Filmfare Awards took place for the 59th time – coincidentally, that’s Rekha’s current age and the age Shah Rukh Khan will never mature to in a Karan Johar film.

Gone with the wind in a in Gaurav Gupta

Gone with the wind in a Gaurav Gupta

A huge hurricane named Katrina blew Deepika Padukone’s dress away and as a result there are very few images of her right profile.

Aside: Why is her stylist referring to the Golden Globes look book and putting her in dresses that have got enough press and for all the wrong reasons? Lady Victoria Hervey, an Englishman’s answer to Queenie Dhody, wore the same dress to the Globes this year and not many thought she was victorious.

In Alexander McQueen

Priyanka Chopra in Alexander McQueen

This one is the rebellious cousin of Deepika’s church-going one (see link above). The pockets look like they are set afire by gold leaves and I would not be surprised if Deepika grabbed Priyanka and put her on her mantel mistaking her for the best actress trophy. Oh shit spoilers! Ah well, you’ll live.

That's a Louis Vuitton orgy happening on him

That’s a Louis Vuitton orgy happening on Ranveer Singh

I’m going to smoke up and watch the pattern come to life and try to strangle the teddy bear on his loafers. I suggest you do the same.

Kajol in a Nandita Mahtani gown

Kajol in a Nandita Mahtani gown

This is a great movie star shot. Unfortunately what she has on is not. I suspect she dropped her kids at the babysitter’s in her nightie and realised there was not enough time so she strapped on a belt and made it in time for this photo.

Anjana Sukhani

Anjana Sukhani

This one might as well be called Ruffle Lays.

Huma Qureshi in Gauri & Nainika

Huma Qureshi in Gauri & Nainika

And this one too. Ruffle Lays Magic Masala.

Preity Zinta in an extremely similar Gauri & Nainika too

Preity Zinta in an extremely similar Gauri & Nainika

Another movie star shot and another Ruffle Lays, this one Magic Masala with Tazos inside.

Dia Mirza in a very confusing Shantanu & Nikhil

Dia Mirza in a very confusing Shantanu & Nikhil

You can’t see from this angle but what she has on is a cropped top, leggings and a Lannister cloak worn as a nauvari sari.

Rekha doing her thang, y'all

Rekha doing her thang, y’all

That’s all the cloth of gold the Lannisters ever owned.

Neha Dhupia in a blouse by Payal Singhal and an Anju Modi skirt

Neha Dhupia in a blouse by Payal Singhal and an Anju Modi skirt

I’ll take it. And maybe lose the neckpieces and add earrings. But I’ll take it.

Karisma Kapoor in  Anamika Khanna

Karisma Kapoor in Anamika Khanna

The dress is the equivalent of a drunken Punjabi wedding where no one knows what the fuck is happening but everyone is in good spirits.

Kalki Koechlin in a lot of Sabyasachi

Kalki Koechlin in a lot of Sabyasachi

Yes, she is mourning the demise of her marriage. How did you guess?

A note to Sabyasachi and all those who wear him: Allow me to introduce you to the concept of a streamlined silhouette. This bada hai toh behtar hai philosophy does not work every time.

wearing a gorgeous Nikhil Thampi

Vaani Kapoor wearing a gorgeous Nikhil Thampi

I mean, if I had a body like that I too would wear as minimal clothes as possible. Let’s see what the valet guy is gawking at so intently.

Vaani Kapoor1

Work it, girl.

Richa Chadda in a Hervé Léger

Richa Chadda in a Hervé Léger

This dress is stupid. It’s drag-racing-drunk-without-a-seat-belt stupid. It’s a bandage dress with a whole carton of Ruffle Lays on it. The idea of a bandage dress is to show off the wearer’s figure so why would you cover it in cheap cake frosting? I blame the designer for this one. Her styling is not helping either.

Amrita Rao in a Payal Singhal sari

Amrita Rao in a Payal Singhal sari

Does she not remind you of a child actor from the ’50s who had an illustrious career playing a boy but when puberty hit no one knew what to do with her so now she is married to a producer 20 years her senior?

Nimrat Kaur wearing a Shehlaa sari

Nimrat Kaur wearing a Shehlaa sari

And that’s her pushy mother trying to relive her glamour days through her child. I mean this in the best possible way because she looks so old school Bollywood chic.

Emilio Pucci on Ileana D'cruz

Emilio Pucci on Ileana D’cruz (that reads weird)

Her extra long sleeves are spreading their lacy tentacles all across her body and soon she’ll star as Venom in a feminist remake of Spider-Man where the protagonist makes it her mission to rid the world of cobwebs.

Aditi Rao Hydari in Gaurav Gupta

Aditi Rao Hydari in Gaurav Gupta

The shoes she can courier me the rest she can burn, starting with that appliqué patch on her head.

Prachi Desai in Swapnil Shinde (that reads weird)

Prachi Desai in Swapnil Shinde

Bani Dixit (bet you did not know that was her surname) sexing it up? Hmmm… What would Mr Walia say?

Sophie Choudry in BCBG which sounds like an acronym for a bunch of Hindi gaalis

Sophie Choudry in BCBG which sounds like an acronym for a bunch of Hindi gaalis

Sophie Choudry did her bit to revive the age-old art of letter writing by encasing her twins in envelop flaps.

Konkona Sen Sharma drowning in a Rohit Bal anarkali

Konkona Sen Sharma drowning in a Rohit Bal anarkali

The white and gold combination is what you would normally wear to a Malayalee wedding along with gold in your weight, of course. But even by those standards this is too much gold.

Kajal Aggarwal in Monisha Jaising bling

Kajal Aggarwal in Monisha Jaising bling

I don’t believe the dress was stitched onto her, neither is there a JFK in sight and it’s definitely not his birthday.

Tamannah in Gauri & Nainika

Tamannah in Gauri & Nainika

She knows the dress is great and hence the smirk. Can we all say drama together?

Bruna Abdullah

Bruna Abdullah

Bruna Abdullah (you know her from…Google it, ya) is already so tall that the border of this anarkali is making her look like she is standing on stilts. Like she was the carnival attraction at Filmfare.

Chunky Pandey killing it

Chunky Pandey killing it

Bangladesh’s superstar was especially flown in to host the Red Carpet. If you ask me, Bollywood’s loss is Bangllywood’s (that’s what their industry is called, right?) gain. And this is Bollywood’s way of inviting him back into their fold but it’s too little too late, guys. We have lost a national treasure, especially when he looks this dapper.

Hosts Priyanka Chopra and Ranbir Kapoor

Hosts Priyanka Chopra and Ranbir Kapoor

Maybe if this was the pairing of Love Story 2050, life would have been very different.

PeeCee at the GGA

Looks like Priyanka Chopra is taking her Hollywood singing career seriously. She attended the 71st Annual Golden Globes or its after-party (nobody is telling me for sure. Come on, Internet) but I can’t seem to find out why. If you guys hear something, do let us know. I’m serious. I’m really disappointed with the Internet. It can give me 27 signs why you are pathetically undateable and be spot on but it cannot inform me, with certainty, about Priyanka’s whereabouts.

Jewellery by Genevieve Jones

Jewellery by Genevieve Jones

The Bibhu Mohapatra tea-length dress seems a little less formal for the event where gowns rule the roost. This is not to say that it’s out of place. Many have worn this length or even shorter at the Globes. It’s less formal than the Oscars so I guess it works. The sequins add a much needed sparkle to the grey palette but it’s the neckline that draws all the attention. The detailing at the bottom lends a quirky touch. My only issue is with the hair. An updo, one away from the neckline, would have worked better.

Sandals by Oscar Tiye and jewellery by Genevieve Jones

Shoes by Oscar Tiye and jewellery by Genevieve Jones

For the CAA Golden Globes party, which is a pre-Golden Globes party (how does Hollywood get any work done around this time?) she wore this Burberry number. It’s a gorgeous colour and makes me believe that everything is right with the world. The sandals, however, with their tribal-esque design, add spunk to the serene look. All this is topped off with a jacket, a funky hairdo that Jared Leto would be proud of and some jewels that could rid a small nation of debt.

So, score for Priyanka at the Globes, for whatever reason she is there.

Leather = Gunda

And let the Gunday media frenzy officially begin.

Ranveer Singh and Arjun Kapoor doing a slow run towards Priyanka Chopra as she subtly flips them off at the Gunday music launch

Ranveer and Arjun do a slow run towards Priyanka as she subtly flips them off at the Gunday music launch

True to the nature of their film’s title, Ranveer Singh and Arjun Kapoor Gunday-ed it up in leather jackets and scruffy boots. I think Ranveer wears it better than Arjun. And that ought to make a few of you happy since he seems to be getting some love around here. Ranveer, not Arjun.

I looked at Priyanka Chopra’s Gauri and Nainika and thought that even though the print was a little busy with the windows and doors and flowers and basically Dadar Flower market at 6 am, I did not mind it much. However, I soon found out that, what I assumed was a full-length dress, is actually a jumpsuit. I could not grab the crucifix faster.

Guess it works

Guess picked Priyanka Chopra as the face of its Holiday 2013 campaign. Guess they were looking to make deeper inroads into the Indian market or guess they genuinely think her to be the face of urban India. Which is not too far from the truth. I guess.

Bryan Adams, yes, Bryan Adams who swore to be 18 till all of us died and fuelled many a drunken table top dances when he belted out Summer of 69, has photographed Priyanka in black and white which has become a Guess signature. It’s a little difficult to judge fashion images when they appear in black and white. Like what if I like the style but the colours make me look diseased? But most of them look like they are either black or white so I guess I’ll be ok. As soon as I can afford them.

Guess-Priyanka2

She looks great as does the dress. Not so much what she said about the photos. “I come from the land of Kama Sutra. We’re conservative in our culture, but not in our pop culture,” she told New York Magazine’s The Cut. I guess I understand it but the more I read the quote the more it baffles me.

Guess-Priyanka

Priyanka is chilling in a Mediterranean villa in what looks like an uber comfy white shirt. Her bouffant and cat eye makeup are in great contrast to the laid back look.

Guess-Priyanka1

Such a simple dress but so pretty. I guess if I too wore a push-up with a toilet role stuffed in each convex, I’d also get cleavage akin to hers.