Devil is in the details

Wearing Emporio Armani pumps

Wearing Emporio Armani pumps

Sonakshi Sinha is taking her svelte self to town and she totally should. She popped by a gallery to support an artist in this Nikhil Thampi sheath. Smart choice since there would be too much colour around anyway and she would run the risk of looking like a work of art herself.

Taking off from the metallic detailing on the hip, the shoes too are metallic but a classier shade of metal like rose gold.

Let’s talk about the aforementioned metallic detailing. This metallic detailing is a lot similar to the metallic detailing on this Alexander McQueen one wore by Priyanka Chopra to the Filmfare Awards. Okay, it might not be a LOT similar but it is a little alike. In concept mostly.

Sonakshi Sinha2

Up close, Sonakshi’s got a star tattoo an inch above her collarbone which could easily feature on BuzzFeed’s 99 Freakishly Small Girl Tattoos To Get In Prominent Places Defeating Their Purpose Of Being Freakishly Small And Hence Subtle list.

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Grazia Young Fashion Awards

The Grazia (A guy friend pronounced it as grey-zee-ya and that’s how I’ve saved his number.) Young Fashion Awards were held and the, seemingly, fashionable people of the industry were in attendance.

Sonam is all the coolest brands

Sonam in all the coolest brands

Sonam Kapoor, as always, wore all of Paris Fashion Week. That’s a Jean Paul Gaultier suit, a Chanel bag, a Givenchy necklace and Alexander McQueen shoes. Even if she wanted to go all androgyny on us she could have had her person take the jacket in an inch or two.

In Nikhil Thampi

Esha Gupta in Nikhil Thampi

I always wonder about innerwear whenever I see a dress with such a high slit. Going commando might be too risky so do they wear a thong with sides that go really high or is there a stick on silicone underwear that holds everything in place like bras do? So many questions such little importance. In all this, I almost missed the gorgeous zipper detailing on the thigh.

Wearing Namrata Joshipura

Wearing Namrata Joshipura

I know that as an, allegedly, self-actualised woman I am supposed to be comfortable in my own skin but Lisa Haydon’s sheer perfection is making that very difficult. She just makes the rest of us look like dog shit.

In a Vivienne Westwood dress

In a Vivienne Westwood dress

That’s a supremely cute dress. Richa Chadda does not do cute. She should give it a shot more often, though. Also, she could try an expression that’s not one of cold impatience.

In In Farah Sanjana

In Farah Sanjana

Priyanka Bose’s (Johnny Gaddaar, Guzaarish) maxi is so far whacked-out that I might just like it. Incidentally, my father came back with a similar image when he went to see the flamingos at Sewri.

Anushka Manchanda in Anand Bhushan

Anushka Manchanda in Anand Bhushan

It was awfully quiet this weekend near my house. Now I know why.  The guys in my wadi could not play their game of volleyball because they could not find their net.

In Pankaj and Nidhi

In Pankaj and Nidhi

The dress is perfect and age-appropriate and weather-appropriate on Shraddha Kapoor. It’s the styling that falters a little. A black clutch with nude shoes and nude-r lips? What happened to good old fuchsia?

A reminder in case we forget the real issues in life

A reminder in case we forget the real issues in life

Tisca Chopra’s hair is playing spoilsport so you can’t clearly read what’s written. It reads ‘#Selfie’ and it’s by the brand Huemn. So, get this – a design house designed a t-shirt with a print that reads #Selfie (which is what Anuya does all the time when she is not thinking about taking a selfie) and Tisca, who seems like an intelligent person, chose to wear it. Willingly.

Aditi Rao Hydari in Gauri & Nainika and a Manish Arora statement neckpiece   

Aditi Rao Hydari in Gauri & Nainika and a Manish Arora statement neckpiece

Don’t be deceived, dear people. That is no gown. It’s a draped jumpsuit. If a jumpsuit is going to such lengths to camouflage its true identity, is it not better off as a gown?

Anjana Sukhani

Anjana Sukhani

The blouse would make Silk Smitha very proud and her pants are dying to be worn by Aladdin. But seriously, what is going on here? Are her pants trying to run away from the horror of the top starting with the crotch? Or her top is so grossed out by the pants that it has physically recoiled from the waistband? Only her shoes seem content in their oblivion.

Poorna Jagannathan in Gaurav Gupta

Poorna Jagannathan in Gaurav Gupta

Lamé in small doses is something I can handle but give it to me in an entire gown, draped over a few times and I’m going to want to put it through the shredder.

Sonal Chauhan in a Nikasha Lulla monstrosity

Sonal Chauhan in a Nishka Lulla monstrosity

Now this one just wants to make me jump with joy… off a cliff. Quick question. Nishka Lulla and Sonal Chauhan, should I hand you the gun or will you guys take care of this yourselves?

Bollywood's future

Bollywood’s future

When I saw this image I was like, “Wow! Someone is actually doing the whole princess thing in public and not just the demure Kate Middleton kind but the actual tiara and gown variety and that too in Bombay.” And then I looked closer and saw that these were the Femina Miss India winners and they HAVE to dress like this until they sign their first Bollywood film. So yeah, thanks for shattering my hopes, ladies.

Filmfare Awards

The Filmfare Awards took place for the 59th time – coincidentally, that’s Rekha’s current age and the age Shah Rukh Khan will never mature to in a Karan Johar film.

Gone with the wind in a in Gaurav Gupta

Gone with the wind in a Gaurav Gupta

A huge hurricane named Katrina blew Deepika Padukone’s dress away and as a result there are very few images of her right profile.

Aside: Why is her stylist referring to the Golden Globes look book and putting her in dresses that have got enough press and for all the wrong reasons? Lady Victoria Hervey, an Englishman’s answer to Queenie Dhody, wore the same dress to the Globes this year and not many thought she was victorious.

In Alexander McQueen

Priyanka Chopra in Alexander McQueen

This one is the rebellious cousin of Deepika’s church-going one (see link above). The pockets look like they are set afire by gold leaves and I would not be surprised if Deepika grabbed Priyanka and put her on her mantel mistaking her for the best actress trophy. Oh shit spoilers! Ah well, you’ll live.

That's a Louis Vuitton orgy happening on him

That’s a Louis Vuitton orgy happening on Ranveer Singh

I’m going to smoke up and watch the pattern come to life and try to strangle the teddy bear on his loafers. I suggest you do the same.

Kajol in a Nandita Mahtani gown

Kajol in a Nandita Mahtani gown

This is a great movie star shot. Unfortunately what she has on is not. I suspect she dropped her kids at the babysitter’s in her nightie and realised there was not enough time so she strapped on a belt and made it in time for this photo.

Anjana Sukhani

Anjana Sukhani

This one might as well be called Ruffle Lays.

Huma Qureshi in Gauri & Nainika

Huma Qureshi in Gauri & Nainika

And this one too. Ruffle Lays Magic Masala.

Preity Zinta in an extremely similar Gauri & Nainika too

Preity Zinta in an extremely similar Gauri & Nainika

Another movie star shot and another Ruffle Lays, this one Magic Masala with Tazos inside.

Dia Mirza in a very confusing Shantanu & Nikhil

Dia Mirza in a very confusing Shantanu & Nikhil

You can’t see from this angle but what she has on is a cropped top, leggings and a Lannister cloak worn as a nauvari sari.

Rekha doing her thang, y'all

Rekha doing her thang, y’all

That’s all the cloth of gold the Lannisters ever owned.

Neha Dhupia in a blouse by Payal Singhal and an Anju Modi skirt

Neha Dhupia in a blouse by Payal Singhal and an Anju Modi skirt

I’ll take it. And maybe lose the neckpieces and add earrings. But I’ll take it.

Karisma Kapoor in  Anamika Khanna

Karisma Kapoor in Anamika Khanna

The dress is the equivalent of a drunken Punjabi wedding where no one knows what the fuck is happening but everyone is in good spirits.

Kalki Koechlin in a lot of Sabyasachi

Kalki Koechlin in a lot of Sabyasachi

Yes, she is mourning the demise of her marriage. How did you guess?

A note to Sabyasachi and all those who wear him: Allow me to introduce you to the concept of a streamlined silhouette. This bada hai toh behtar hai philosophy does not work every time.

wearing a gorgeous Nikhil Thampi

Vaani Kapoor wearing a gorgeous Nikhil Thampi

I mean, if I had a body like that I too would wear as minimal clothes as possible. Let’s see what the valet guy is gawking at so intently.

Vaani Kapoor1

Work it, girl.

Richa Chadda in a Hervé Léger

Richa Chadda in a Hervé Léger

This dress is stupid. It’s drag-racing-drunk-without-a-seat-belt stupid. It’s a bandage dress with a whole carton of Ruffle Lays on it. The idea of a bandage dress is to show off the wearer’s figure so why would you cover it in cheap cake frosting? I blame the designer for this one. Her styling is not helping either.

Amrita Rao in a Payal Singhal sari

Amrita Rao in a Payal Singhal sari

Does she not remind you of a child actor from the ’50s who had an illustrious career playing a boy but when puberty hit no one knew what to do with her so now she is married to a producer 20 years her senior?

Nimrat Kaur wearing a Shehlaa sari

Nimrat Kaur wearing a Shehlaa sari

And that’s her pushy mother trying to relive her glamour days through her child. I mean this in the best possible way because she looks so old school Bollywood chic.

Emilio Pucci on Ileana D'cruz

Emilio Pucci on Ileana D’cruz (that reads weird)

Her extra long sleeves are spreading their lacy tentacles all across her body and soon she’ll star as Venom in a feminist remake of Spider-Man where the protagonist makes it her mission to rid the world of cobwebs.

Aditi Rao Hydari in Gaurav Gupta

Aditi Rao Hydari in Gaurav Gupta

The shoes she can courier me the rest she can burn, starting with that appliqué patch on her head.

Prachi Desai in Swapnil Shinde (that reads weird)

Prachi Desai in Swapnil Shinde

Bani Dixit (bet you did not know that was her surname) sexing it up? Hmmm… What would Mr Walia say?

Sophie Choudry in BCBG which sounds like an acronym for a bunch of Hindi gaalis

Sophie Choudry in BCBG which sounds like an acronym for a bunch of Hindi gaalis

Sophie Choudry did her bit to revive the age-old art of letter writing by encasing her twins in envelop flaps.

Konkona Sen Sharma drowning in a Rohit Bal anarkali

Konkona Sen Sharma drowning in a Rohit Bal anarkali

The white and gold combination is what you would normally wear to a Malayalee wedding along with gold in your weight, of course. But even by those standards this is too much gold.

Kajal Aggarwal in Monisha Jaising bling

Kajal Aggarwal in Monisha Jaising bling

I don’t believe the dress was stitched onto her, neither is there a JFK in sight and it’s definitely not his birthday.

Tamannah in Gauri & Nainika

Tamannah in Gauri & Nainika

She knows the dress is great and hence the smirk. Can we all say drama together?

Bruna Abdullah

Bruna Abdullah

Bruna Abdullah (you know her from…Google it, ya) is already so tall that the border of this anarkali is making her look like she is standing on stilts. Like she was the carnival attraction at Filmfare.

Chunky Pandey killing it

Chunky Pandey killing it

Bangladesh’s superstar was especially flown in to host the Red Carpet. If you ask me, Bollywood’s loss is Bangllywood’s (that’s what their industry is called, right?) gain. And this is Bollywood’s way of inviting him back into their fold but it’s too little too late, guys. We have lost a national treasure, especially when he looks this dapper.

Hosts Priyanka Chopra and Ranbir Kapoor

Hosts Priyanka Chopra and Ranbir Kapoor

Maybe if this was the pairing of Love Story 2050, life would have been very different.

Star Guilt Awards

Same shit, another day, different outfits.

Huma Qureshi in a Gauri and Nainika gown

Huma Qureshi in a Gauri and Nainika gown

Where is the rest of her coven? Having the valet park their broomsticks?

Ranveer Singh and Arjun Kapoor

Ranveer Singh in Gucci and Arjun Kapoor in cocked eyebrows

I suppose Ranveer Singh does clean up good. But since when has rubbing tambacoo become dapper?

In a lehenga by Shehlaa

In a lehenga by Shehlaa

This attire would make perfect sense if Deepika Padukone’s top-half was starring in a film about a naughty school girl and her bottom-half was playing the lead role of a gaon ki gori. And her midriff had its own porn series.

In Nachiket Barve

In Nachiket Barve

That’s Divya Khosla Kumar, the director of Yaariyan. Her stylist paid good money for Nirupa Roy and Noorie’s second hand sari. I guess, they thought it was vintage along with it being film memorabilia.

In Rachel Roy and Steve Madden peep toes

In a Rachel Roy jumpsuit and Steve Madden peep toes

Shit! If Sonakshi Sinha continues to dress like this, I will be out of a job and will have to retire to the hills where all I’ll do through the day is plot my revenge against her for making an honest woman out of me. She looks great. Ouch! I think I just burned my fingers typing that because what she actually looks great in is a jumpsuit. I’m going to give myself the pink slip now.

Sunny Leone rocking the hell out of this one

Sunny Leone rocking the hell out of this one

Sunny Leone in and as Anal: The Little Mermaid.

In Nikhil Thampi (he's been having a good awards season)

Vaani Kapoor in Nikhil Thampi (he’s been having a good awards season, no?)

That dress is the fashion equivalent of Inception. I have no clue what is going on but I like it and am going to stay till the end credits because…

Vaani Kapoor-back… this is what they look like.

Prabhu Deva

Prabhu Deva

I never pegged him to be much of a dresser but here he is. I’m loving the purple pocket square as much as his dance-y pose. Never change, Prabhu Deva. Never. Except when you decide to make certain ‘princely’ films.

In a Varun Bahl sari

In a Varun Bahl sari

Richa Chadda played it way too safe with this one. She should have let the peacock feathers extend into a full-blown fan behind her head. Don’t deny us some drama, lady.

Shah Rukh Khan

Shah Rukh Khan

How bad can it be? You are Shah Rukh Khan for crying out loud. Smile a little, will you? You are in well-fitted suit and sometimes that’s all a guy really needs.

Kareena Kapoor in Namrata Joshipura

Kareena Kapoor in Namrata Joshipura

I don’t hate it but I don’t want to get it drunk and make sweet, sweet love to it either. I’m sure Saif Ali Khan will share my sentiments.

In Donna Karan

In Donna Karan

If I saw this in the store I’d point out to the salesperson that there are way too many threads hanging and that the finishing is bad at which point he would tell me I did not get high fashion and would proceed to sell it to the next customer. Shraddha Kapoor. But she does look ok. Sort of.

Jacqueline Fernandez in Anand Kabra

Jacqueline Fernandez in Anand Kabra

I always wonder what or who stars are hiding when they come all covered-up to events.

Screen Awards red carpet

The Screen Awards took place and we all held our breath just waiting to know who went home with the coveted trophy. But when it comes to the telecast, we don’t have a seven second delay but more like a seven week delay. So you will have to wait a little longer to know the winners. Or you could just Google it. Whatever.

Abhay Deol and Preeti Desai

Abhay Deol and Preeti Desai in a Bare in Black gown

This couples’ tanning thing really works. A little too well.

Adhuna and Farhan Akhtar

Adhuna and Farhan Akhtar

I love Adhuna’s quirky sense of style. It’s like her way of rebelling against the ‘star-wife’ label. More power to you, girl. And that is how you wear a velvet waistcoat with Jodhpur-ish pants.

Aditi Rao Hydari in Harsh Harsh

Aditi Rao Hydari in Harsh Harsh

This needs something more happening. It all seems very flat and sort of like a snorefest.

Anjana Sukhani

Anjana Sukhani

Dude, is that a full and final velvet gown!? Talk about subtle use of fabric.

Bipasha Basu in Manish Malhotra

Bipasha Basu in Manish Malhotra

And that is how you wear velvet and an anarkali. In small doses and with less ghera, respectively. She really is looking good, no? Maybe marriage is the answer.

Boman Irani

Boman Irani

Yes, I will shake your hand but only because you are awesome.

Chitrangda Singh in Dior

Chitrangda Singh in Dior

If her last look was all about drama this is a little anticlimatic. Maybe another colour or a more glamorous hairstyle would have worked. But don’t worry, Chitrangda, the world (my amma and I) still loves you.

Deepika Padukone in Alexander McQueen

Deepika Padukone in Alexander McQueen

I suspect this one has gone a little wrong. I can’t point out why exactly. But feel is not coming. Like kuch kuch nahi hota hai when I see this gown. Could it be because Kate Hudson wore it to the Golden Globes LAST YEAR?

Divya Dutta

Divya Dutta

Take a beach holiday, woman and go drown that attire while you are at it.

Yo Yo Honey Singh

Yo Yo Honey Singh

He is making some very rude gestures but given the nature of his lyrics I should not be surprised.

Huma Qureshi

Huma Qureshi in Nikhil Thampi

Yes, the sun really does shine out of Huma Qureshi’s ear. Even Kalki Koechlin seems to think so…

Kalki in Nikhil Thampi

Kalki in Nikhil Thampi too

We get it. Huma is not responsible for Kalki’s divorce. You guys are the best of friends and you, Kalki, even helped Huma into that earpiece type-thingy. That ornament has a legitimate name but I’ve forgotten it. And I refuse to Google it since the Internet and I are currently in a complicated relationship.

This is one of Huma’s better looks. The dress fits her curves well and for once her hair is doing good things. But I’m thinking I should just give up on cribbing whenever people bastardise the sari. I can see Kalki’s leg. Should she not be wearing a petticoat underneath? My grandmother would not approve.

Juhi Chawla

Juhi Chawla

Why is she still promoting Son of Sardar?

In Shantanu & Nikhil

In Shantanu & Nikhil

No, no, no. Kajol, don’t fall back into your old trap. You were doing so well. This look seems so closed-up and nun-like. Unless… she is trying to cover a big old hickey. That’s one expensive way of doing it, if you ask me. Just paste on a bandage next time.

In Ranna Gill

In Ranna Gill

Look who’s back! And I have nothing unpleasant to say about Neha Dhupia. Except maybe… actually, no. But, I do want to wake up next to that cuff every morning and bring it breakfast in bed.

Nimrat Kaur

Nimrat Kaur

I’m loving the hint of boobies, sorry décolletage and the hair pulled away to show them off. Yet, I’m unsure of the puffed sleeves.

Ranveer Singh

Ranveer Singh

The velvet jacket with the waistcoat seems a bit much. Like it was initially a three-piece tux, but since he is Ranveer Singh and eccentric and all that, his stylist chose the blue jacket.

Wearing Innana by Monica & Karishma

Wearing Monica & Karishma

Do you think it’s just that some people can’t pull-off gowns as well as others can? There really is nothing horrifyingly wrong with the look, apart from the fact that the pattern overwhelms and the stylist should have put her hair up. As in Richa Chadda’s.

Sona Mohapatra

Sona Mohapatra

This is how Anarkali (the person, not the trend) must have looked and felt like when the last brick was laid.

In an Amit GT gown

In an Amit GT gown

I don’t know what Sonakshi Sinha or her stylist have been smoking but pat yourselves on the back and roll another one.

In Gaurav Gupta

In Gaurav Gupta

This dress on Shruti Hassan reminds me of a cold night at the graveyard. Let me hasten to assure you that Shruti does not look like the undead, far from it, but something about the blue and black and net gives me an eerie feeling.

In Amritraj Bora

In Amritraj Bora showing way too much of her Boras

As does this one on Sonal Chauhan. Somewhere a koli has lost the day’s catch.

In a Manish Malhotra sari

In a Manish Malhotra sari

Who sends her invites and why? At least Sophie Chaudhary has the decency to dress well.

PS: Raise your hand if you are missing Sonam Kapoor.

Deepika does double duty

Deepika Femina

Femina is still flogging the 100 years of cinema horse with its latest special edition cover. The gatefold opens to reveal three more Deepikas. That, right there, is many a people’s wet dream. She looks stunning, no doubt. Unlike Ranbir Kapoor I’d actually pick her over Katrina Kaif solely based on her choice of attires. But, somehow, I don’t think that was his prime criteria. Katrina is like milk chocolate – all white and single-flavoured but Deepika seems like dark chocolate with hazelnut – layered with surprises thrown in. This assessment refers to their outfits and has nothing to do with them personally or professionally because a) I don’t hang with them on a daily basis or like ever and b) Their combined professional talent does not keep me interested on a daily basis or EVER.

Hold on, why did I start talking about Katrina? Back to the cover. As an ode to Bollywood, Deepika donned five different looks depicting five different heroines and hence five different facets of Bollywood. The first one is a Cocktail inspired Zara look with crazy ass Steve Madden shoes. The busy metallic skirt is beautifully offset by the basic grey, slouchy top. Next she wears a Sabyasachi lehenga (like that was not obvious) paying homage to Umrao Jaan. It’s all you’d expect from a Sabyasachi lehenga. Nothing more, nothing less.

Deepika Femina 1

Zeenat Aman gets channelled in a Nikhil Thampi ensemble. The exaggerated sleeves look great on a magazine cover but I’m wondering about the practicality of having them drag along the dance floor. Deepika does a Mumtaz in a Ritu Kumar sari and blouse. I love the high neck blouse and the plain sari with the pouf styled to perfection. The final and, possibly my favourite, is the Helen look. The Rohit Gandhi + Rahul Khanna dress captures Helen’s peek-a-boo style so well as does the I’m-fresh-off-a-romp-in-the-hay hair. And I’d totally pledge my soul to the devil for those Christian Louboutins.

I like that all the ensembles have a soft, almost earthy colour palette and even though the looks hark back to an era gone by they still have a modern touch to them. Stylist Allia Al Rufai and hair and makeup artiste Anil Chinappa have done a great job.

But my grouse is not so much with the look and feel of the cover but with the concept itself. The edit team could have come up something a little more challenging than have a contemporary heroine play dress with a makeup room as the backdrop. It’s feels like this was the first idea they had and they just ran with it. It’s the 100 years of leading ladies, so much more could have been done. They took their tagline ‘For all the women you are’ and literally translated that into portraying Deepika in many avatars. The issue, by itself, is interesting and comprehensive. Come on, Femina give us something more to work with.

Deepika elle

In complete contrast, Deepika goes chic in this teal Louis Vuitton for the Elle cover. I like that it’s actually wearable. People won’t drag me to the circus if I do wear this out in public (not that I can afford an LV). The hair is short and wispy and the blue tones are in keeping with the monsoon but what is with that hospital curtain backdrop?