Insist all you want but celebrities are nothing like us. They don’t get squashed in trains, survive on bread and milk powder at the end of the month and mostly certainly don’t owe their mothers an explanation as to why they are not married as yet. But what if they were just like you and I – going to work, dealing with crappy boyfriends and fishing for chutta to give the bus conductor?
In our fantasy series – Vinegar Vignettes – we play out everyday scenarios involving the infamous names of Bollywood. Of course they are much better dressed than their stylists could ever fathom. The good people at Vinegar let us raid their store for the best picks.
It begins with…
Vidya Boss. She received daddy’s wafer business in virasat. In the last 10 years her only contribution has been sambar flavoured chips. On the boss scale she’d like to believe she’s a Miranda Priestly but everyone knows she’s actually closer to a Michael Scott.
Sonam Secretary comes from a family of five siblings and despite a bad education has managed to learn computers. She can type on Word. With a resume packed with organising college festivals and nine days of dandiya she arrives for an interview for the position of secretary to Vidya Boss.
Sonam Secretary (SS): Knock knock.
Vidya Boss (VB): Who’s there?
VB: Me who?
SS: Me aat yehu?
VB: Have a seat.
SS: No thenks. I ate.
VB: Nice top.
VB: Full sleeves. Modest.
VB: Neon highlights. Not your usual style?
SS: No. Myself always in salwar kameez.
VB: So you dressed up?
SS: Little bit.
VB: What have you paired it with?
SS: Skinny jeans.
VB: I miss them.
SS: By the ways nice dress, ma’am. Great pattern. Good you are wearing jacket. Covers your… shoulders.
VB: But you can still see the great cut out neckline. The back’s great too.
SS: But mine’s is better. Look.
VB: Holy sambar chips! You are fired.
PS: Watch this space for more. We might have a little something for you. Don’t blink. Keep watching. That’s right. WATCH.