Ameesha Patel and Neil Nitin Mukesh

That’s right, Ameesha, the trailer of Shortcut Romeo made me want to blow my brains out. I don’t know what the move will make me do.

Three-named Neil Nitin Mukesh looks like a poor man’s Robin Hood and Ameesha, like a dude living below the poverty line’s maiden.

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Cannes ki Kahaani – Teesra Bhagh

It’s great to see Indian cinema, especially Bollywood, being celebrated on an international platform as prestigious as the Cannes Film Festival. Shortcut Romeo starring Ameesha Patel and Puja Gupta as well as three-named Neil Nitin Mukesh was brought to the festival. Of course, this image is taken at the screening of another film because I suspect Shortcut Romeo was screened in a dark alley above a tattoo shop.

Ameesha Patel and Puja Gupta

I don’t have anything to say about Puja Gupta because I don’t know much about her or even who she really is except that the look could have done with some colour. The good part, however, is that it’s a shade brighter than Ameesha’s face. Is Ameesha the missing branch of the Cullen Clan’s bat-infested family tree? A long-lost sister of matriarch Esme?

Ameesha Patel

This one’s slightly better. She’s a human hue and the Manish Malhotra ensemble is not making me want to eat glass. Which is always a good sign.

Sherlyn Chopra1

Sherlyn Chopra is walking the red carpet for yet another event at the festival. I’m getting slutty-dulhan vibes. It’s quite smart actually. She’s swathed in a flowy white ghagra that covers a lot of ground (like the other famous ghagra that’s been to Baghdad se leke Delhi via Agra). She’s got full sleeves and even a dupatta on her… somewhere. However, on display is an entire row of mid-riff and generous cleavage. I forget the point I was trying to make but yeah, that’s Savita Bhabhi on her wedding night.

Double trouble

I almost did not write this post because I refuse to give in to their ploy of getting people to talk about them as a couple. But look at them! How could I resist?

Right before they hit public view the scene played out something like this: After deciding to dress alike, Sonal Chauhan pulls out two floral, lace trimmed halter tops. She tells three-named Neil Nitin Mukesh that the floral print brings out the peaches and cream tone of his cleavage. He almost agrees before he spots the tablecloth of the cheap Chinese restaurant they are having their 1 by 2 Manchow soup at. Thus was born the unisex shirt that made them both happy and resulted in this post.

I’m too spent to take a dig at his man purse. I need to lie down now.

Neil Enters a Grey Area

When Johnny Gaddaar released and it turned out that Neil Nitin Mukesh (of the three-name variety) was awesome I went and bought a few more tickets (the single screen ones, not multiplex) to rejoice in the birth of a good actor. He, however, followed this up with disastrous performances and since then I’ve not watched a single NNM film to make up for money horribly spent.

I was pleasantly surprised to see him at least make an effort to look dapper at this event to launch a new car. While it’s nice that he chose grey over the boring black, he should have rethought the form fitting side of it. After all you can see the outline of his umm… cell phone. The shiny grey tie is a snore fest.

There’s a lot going on with his hair, though. Was he sporting one of the car’s luxury features – ‘Windswept Hair’? What sort of haircut must he have got to get that side swept wave cascading down the side of his forehead? Not to mention that little heart shaped patch at his temple.

Is it just me or does he look like Chuck Bass’ doppelganger?