Deepika does double duty

Deepika Femina

Femina is still flogging the 100 years of cinema horse with its latest special edition cover. The gatefold opens to reveal three more Deepikas. That, right there, is many a people’s wet dream. She looks stunning, no doubt. Unlike Ranbir Kapoor I’d actually pick her over Katrina Kaif solely based on her choice of attires. But, somehow, I don’t think that was his prime criteria. Katrina is like milk chocolate – all white and single-flavoured but Deepika seems like dark chocolate with hazelnut – layered with surprises thrown in. This assessment refers to their outfits and has nothing to do with them personally or professionally because a) I don’t hang with them on a daily basis or like ever and b) Their combined professional talent does not keep me interested on a daily basis or EVER.

Hold on, why did I start talking about Katrina? Back to the cover. As an ode to Bollywood, Deepika donned five different looks depicting five different heroines and hence five different facets of Bollywood. The first one is a Cocktail inspired Zara look with crazy ass Steve Madden shoes. The busy metallic skirt is beautifully offset by the basic grey, slouchy top. Next she wears a Sabyasachi lehenga (like that was not obvious) paying homage to Umrao Jaan. It’s all you’d expect from a Sabyasachi lehenga. Nothing more, nothing less.

Deepika Femina 1

Zeenat Aman gets channelled in a Nikhil Thampi ensemble. The exaggerated sleeves look great on a magazine cover but I’m wondering about the practicality of having them drag along the dance floor. Deepika does a Mumtaz in a Ritu Kumar sari and blouse. I love the high neck blouse and the plain sari with the pouf styled to perfection. The final and, possibly my favourite, is the Helen look. The Rohit Gandhi + Rahul Khanna dress captures Helen’s peek-a-boo style so well as does the I’m-fresh-off-a-romp-in-the-hay hair. And I’d totally pledge my soul to the devil for those Christian Louboutins.

I like that all the ensembles have a soft, almost earthy colour palette and even though the looks hark back to an era gone by they still have a modern touch to them. Stylist Allia Al Rufai and hair and makeup artiste Anil Chinappa have done a great job.

But my grouse is not so much with the look and feel of the cover but with the concept itself. The edit team could have come up something a little more challenging than have a contemporary heroine play dress with a makeup room as the backdrop. It’s feels like this was the first idea they had and they just ran with it. It’s the 100 years of leading ladies, so much more could have been done. They took their tagline ‘For all the women you are’ and literally translated that into portraying Deepika in many avatars. The issue, by itself, is interesting and comprehensive. Come on, Femina give us something more to work with.

Deepika elle

In complete contrast, Deepika goes chic in this teal Louis Vuitton for the Elle cover. I like that it’s actually wearable. People won’t drag me to the circus if I do wear this out in public (not that I can afford an LV). The hair is short and wispy and the blue tones are in keeping with the monsoon but what is with that hospital curtain backdrop?

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Cover story

Ayushmann Khurrana1

This is Ayushmann Khurrana at the screening of Issaq. What is it with his stylist experimenting with women’s wear on him? I’m sure there is a plausible explanation for the fringed scarf but I can’t imagine why you’d want to cover a basic white tee. Unless. Unless it carries a hate message about the event you are attending – Issaq, you suck. (Thank you Shweta for pointing out the keen likeness the film’s title has to its essence.)

Now this is much better.

Ayushmann Khurrana Men's Health

See, a lot of good can happen with guys like Ayushmann losing their t-shirts. Six packs of good.

Being Vogue about it

Bollywood and a few others glammed up for Vogue India’s 5th Anniversary Bash. Can you believe that the magazine has been around for five years? The very same magazine that is so aspirational I can’t even afford to buy it. Considering it’s a Vogue party, where you know, ‘Before it’s in fashion it’s in Vogue’, the performances were so-so.

I don’t know if it’s the angle or the lace neckline but Dia Mirza looks really err… endowed and voluptuous. The dress is giving negligee vibes. What’s going on around her waist? And why is it all black? Ok, red lips would have been too predictable but this ain’t a funeral.

On the red carpet are Smiley and her sister, Underpaid Geisha. Actually, I like what Kajol has on. It’s very unlike her – the colour, cut and more so the fact that it’s not an anarkali or ill-fitting pants. I’m undecided on Tanisha’s gown, but the makeup makes her look like a geisha who has seen better days.

Kalki Koechlin looks like a happy Flapper from the 20s so let’s not kill her buzz. Maybe those chunky shoes and clutch are doing it already.

Somebody tell Prateik the Harley Davidson gang bang session changed its venue last minute. The good thing is he might have to lose his clothes for an entry there.

Not my favourite person, not my favourite look but Siddharth Mallya looks a lot like Hugh Hefner with his smoking slippers and belted jacket. I think I secretly dig this look but I will deny it in court.

Officially crap

There’s a lot of sheer, black and flowing-in-the-wind going on here. The cover actually looks quite cool and every un-Sussanne Roshan. The booties are so edgy. Unfortunately she, in person, looks very much like the Sussanne Roshan we’ve seen – right but not quite.

The sheer black covering the bustier is ok-ish but lord those sleeves! Why must they flare at the wrist and cover her hand like she’s wearing 80s punk fingerless gloves? And that velvet skirt? It’s VELVET! The shoes are not as bad as the rest of the look but they still don’t look elegant. A little tacky even.