Have you Sinha?

Sonakshi Sinha has come a long way. From being Salman Khan’s movie accessory to being Arjun Kapoor’s movie accessory, the journey has been arduous, mostly for people who watched her in all those movies (Sorry, a Lootera can only get you so far. Like if your career is a train journey, Lootera will take you from Churchgate to Dadar, tops. After that you’re on the mercy of Kaali-Peelis, and most of them will prolly say no because they have other important things to do, like scratch their balls and perm their hair.)

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From a fashion perspective, it’s been an evolution, and it gladdens my jaded heart to watch her go from being swaddled in all black to all these fashion experiments that I fondly refer to as the Sonam Kapoors.

Unfortunately, as we know, not all Sonam Kapoors are always hits.

In the one above for example, I’m expecting some spontaneous cray version of Bollywood Flamenco Moon Worship Dance, which she does to get The Mask’s attention…

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(I’m coming baby!)

…as he somersaults into the frame and whisks her away to the dulcet tunes of Copa Cabana, to a land far, far away where scripts for movies like Tevar and Action Jackson are used to make papier mache which is then used to make Leo DiCaprio idols.

To be fair (and what am I if not fair, huh?) the top is cute. But that fishtail skirt. I mean, it’s only genius if it’s subtly telling us the story of the Little Mermaid, you know, all she wanted was to be a part of the world above her hence the moon and the… hang on. There are 2 moons.

I give up.

 

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I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. But I will look for you, I will find you and I will take that dress.” – Liam Neeson when he saw this dress:

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OK maybe not Liam Neeson. Maybe it was me. I also have a particular set of skills that involve calling an Uber super fast if I need a getaway car coz I desperately needed to dodge a very angry person in their underwear.

No biggie.

Someone else will have to get the shoes for me though. Any volunteers? Volunteers?

 

Lakme Fashion Week – Day 3, Part 1

It’s our friendly, neighbourhood Paro, looking deeply uncomfortable walking the ramp.

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In fact, when she marched on stage all pouty and suchlike, I couldn’t even recognize her. Ended up telling a whole row full of people that she was Ileana D’Cruz (Though that could’ve been because I have broken my latest pair of glasses. You should’ve been there when I thought Shenaz Treasurywala was someone’s abandoned child. Was very awkward.) Reminded me of a time in my childhood where I told everyone I was travelling with that the Canada Dry they were drinking was actually beer. Fun times!

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While both designer and muse look great, their clothes are so busy, they’re working overtime, have no social life, and will die of a stress-induced heart attack at age 35. The closer I get to them, the more I hate the embellishments. I heard someone at the show describing PKP’s collection as very “Sindhi Socialite”. I can’t help but agree.

Here are a few more outfits from the collection. What do YOU guys think? Tell in Comments section. That’s what it’s there for. SHEESH.

 

 

Fire Your Fashion Week – Day 3

I’d give my right arm, one kidney, one firstborn, a toe, my entire Harry Potter collection, Ayesha, my roommate’s poodle, a stethoscope I stole to eavesdrop on my neighbours’ conversations, and a stuffed pigeon for this dress by Rocky S.

Rocky S at LFW WF 2013 3

 

So Rocky S, if you’re reading this, I’ve composed a poem for you that I’m hoping would convince you to give it to me: O ROCKY YOU’RE SO FINE, YOU’RE SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND HEY ROCKY!

Is it working?

Fire Your Fashion Week – Day 2 Part 1

The GenX of designers always do wonky stuff, presumably to stand out in the crowd, despite the Manish Malhotra’s and the Anita Dongres of the world churning out one gorgeous wearable design after another.

THIS is what our up-and-comers came up with this season. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Be Shahid Afraidi.

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Aimaan and Armaan

 

This is OBVIOUSLY what Princess Leia will wear after she gets an MBA at NMIMS and is shortlisted for an interview with Morgan Stanley.

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Aditi Holani

Okay first of all, HAHAH HOLANI. Okay, got the juvenile out of the way so that I can do some serious critiquing. I’m told this collection is called the Wabi-Sabi collected, and as you can see it is trying very hard to be geisha-fabulous, but all I see is those strings getting stuck in all sorts of things like revolving doors and my boyfriend’s watch and and my own teeth and suchlike.

Pronoy Kapoor 2

Pronoy Kapoor

 

Okay, I like the organza and the sheath dress et al, BUT WHAT DO I DO WHEN I HAVE TO CROSS THE ROAD?

 

Happy birthday to Indian cinema

Cinema has done a Sachin Tendulkar and this year celebrates 100 years of being in the business of selling the most expensive tub of popcorn. Which of course means that Bollywood (since there is no other kind of cinema) is going all out.

At the Lakme Fashion Week, designer of chiffon saris and flashy lehengas, Manish Malhotra showcased a collection commemorating 100 years of cinema. Ergo ALL of Bollywood and their alter egos showed up.

Anuya and I too squeezed into the standing-room-only venue where I watched most of the show through a guy’s iPhone. But it was absolutely worth it. For all the ranting and whining we do around here it was nice to hear veterans and young guns talk about their passion for the movies.

Bombay Talkies directors

Karan Johar, Dibakar Banerjee, Zoya Akhtar and Anurag Kashyap give us the ‘direct’ stare

Manish divided the show into eras starting with black and white then moving on to the 60s and 70s and finally to the 90s and 2000s. Bombay Talkies directors Karan Johar, Anurag Kashyap, Dibakar Banerjee and Zoya Akhtar opened the show dressed in black and white. Anurag looked quite badass in his fitted bandhgala.

Manish Malhotra Bobby

Dimple Kapadia would have been proud

Then, just as the iPhone Guy’s hand began to tire, out came models in plunging polka dotted Bobby-esque tops and palazzo pants. With flowers tucked in their hair they wore clingy saris and large shades too.

Siddharth Malhotra

Siddharth Malhotra is also wondering what all the fuss is about

Manish did a great job of representing the 90s and the 200os in flowing kurtas and jackets. A squeal of a thousand women filled the claustrophobic venue as Varun Dhawan and Siddharth Malhotra strutted down the ramp in light jackets. A woman almost dug her talons into my shoulder in ecstasy.

Kajol and Karisma Kapoor

Kajol and Karisma Kapoor show how the pros do it

Though Kajol was not a part of the show, she walked the ramp for the shutterbugs at the end. In a simple sari with a peek-a-boo blouse, she nailed the look with her poise and elegance.

I, on the other, went into hyperventilation mode and even rode the elevator twice just to breathe the same air as Dibakar.