IIFA Q – AB Jr (late) edition

Now that the gold dust has settled over the IIFAs let’s objectively (ha!) look at main man Abhishek Bachchan’s many attires.

Abhishek Bachchan

One slight problem. I can’t directly look at this jacket because my eyes might bleed. Let’s assess why.

  • Satin
  • Pink satin
  • So much pink satin
  • Somewhere a fairy is upset
  • Ditto a unicorn
  • Abhishek gives this look a thumbs up

Abhishek Bachchan2

This does not make my eyes bleed as much. Let’s assess why.

  • Not pink satin
  • Actually, is a nice pista green. Like kulfi.
  • Is cut sharply
  • Peter Pan is not missing any shirts
  • Like Abhishek, I love me a dhol and dancing women. That did not sound right.

Abhishek Bachchan1

I have never been so delighted to see anyone in a boring black three-piece suit. EVER.

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IIFA Q – Baatcheet

Shahrukh-Khan-Ayushmann-Khurrana-Parineeti-Chopra-Sushant-Singh-Rajput-Shahid-Kapoor-at-IIFA-2013

Shah Rukh Khan: And that, my young ones, is how you become a Bollywood superstar.

Ayushmann Khurana: Balle! Balle!

Parineeti Chopra: This is all so funny. Your pajamas and side buttons are so funny, Ayushmann. I, for my part, look stunning. This is how you rock a plain black gown. With a wide belt, thigh slit and wrist armour.

Sushant Singh Rajput: Hahaha! Ayushmann’s pajamas.

Shahid Kapoor: Ha! I know. So listen. What’s with your shabby suit?

Sushant: I had a hit film this year.

Shahid: *white noise*

IIFA Q – Part 2

Sophie Choudry

Sophie Choudry, that’s actually a nice gown but nobody cares. Seriously, why is she even issued a passport?

Sridevi

It’s great to see Sridevi not limiting herself to saris just because this is her ‘second innings’. Yet, I think she’s always a step away from getting it pitch perfect. There’s nothing wrong with this look. It’s a nice enough gown and fits her well but I don’t know. Is it the hair? Does she look a little disproportionate?

Sridevi1

It’s more pronounced here. Her bust just does not seem in keeping with the rest of her body.

Anushka sharma

Anushka Sharma’s bustline, on the other hand, is not doing its job well. Woman, eat something so you can grow a pair. Eat a pear even. Stop going from skinny to skinnier. Also, I hate your hair. Go bald and wait for it to grow out.

Vidya Balan

It’s no longer funny. Just sad. Very sad. It will never get better, will it?

Diana Penty

Diana Penty, you’re pretty and young. Wear a dress. Vaccinate yourself against Vidyabalansari-itis.

UPDATE: I’m slacking or am losing my eyesight or simply my mind. That’s not Diana Penty. It’s Pooja Kumar (Thanks Anj for pointing that out). She was in Vishwaroopam. You really can’t trust the internet these days. Still, darling, put on a dress.

Divya Dutta

Now, I don’t mind someone like Divya Dutta in a sari. I just have a problem when she looks like a cross dressing Aamir Khan.

Neha Dhupia

If you’ve not noticed, Neha Dhupia and we have a love-hate relationship. This might not be not her best work but I’m going to give it to her. Just because it stands out in the sea of gowns and saris. It’s very high-priestess-of-the-pantheon but I’m not going to speak ill of it. I’m not. Maybe… NO!

Lisa Haydon

Sigh. I’m going to kill myself by drowning in that pattern. Thanks a lot, Lisa Haydon. I feel so good about myself now.

Deepika Padukone

Ditto Deepika. My neck is thicker than her exposed thigh. Whatever. I’m going to console myself with the fact that her ‘Tamilian’ accent in Chennai Express is the film’s comic relief.

The Dark Lord… sorta

Prateik has hugely disappointed me. Given his pedigree I thought he would be the shining beacon of Bollywood ushering us into the new era of great acting. But he did not. To make matters worse he dresses like Darth Vader ‘s younger cousin. On a flight. And they let him board the aircraft. They let a potential maniac board an aircraft. Now I’m disappointed with the airport authorities.