Ship of Theseus screening

Ship of Theseus had a screening and most of the big names attended solely because Aamir Khan threatened to courier them a DVD of Mela otherwise.

Katrina Kaif

Katrina Kaif, who after the screening, celebrated her happy birthday, dressed like an upside down orange candy.

Ranbir Kapoor

I just hope her alleged boyfriend took off his fedora for the screening otherwise Rani Mukerji would have missed half the film. Of course I’m assuming that Rani sat behind the couple. Why? Just because I can. Also I know the usher.

Rani Mukerji

If the Ship of Theseus was missing a sail it was because Rani wore it as pants. 

Ayushmann Khurrana

Ayushmann Khurrana’s wearing a ladies size small jacket in a lovely pastel hue. Just thought I’d point that out.

Jackie Shroff

My mother wept when she saw this image of Jackie Shroff. She remembers him looking like this and not like a poor man’s Shakti Kapoor who, in himself, is a poor man’s Shakti Kapoor.

Imran Khan and Avantika Malik

Imran Khan brought his own X and O game in case the film got too intellectual for him. As an aside, why are they dressed so formally while the others have basically rolled out of bed?

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Running wild and naked

Farhan Akhtar

I get that Farhan Akhtar is a trendsetter but just for once he could have toed the current trend of actors dressing as their characters during promotional events. Now, if this was Rock On!! or even Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara I’d understand the jacket and fedora but he’s promoting Bhaag Milkha Bhaag. So why is he not shirtless and running in slow motion towards the finish line aka my arms? I ask you, Universe. Why?

Doff my hat. Not

Now that the IPL has done its job of entertaining us I was hoping to see less of Preity Zinta but no such luck.

She rolled out of bed to launch a diet/fitness/how to lose your self esteem in 10 days book authored by a friend. Unfortunately for everyone involved Preity had a nasty hair day and popped on a fedora. I’d like to say she looks gangster chic but that would be like trying to convince the rickshaw guy to stop reading the paper and take me to the station in the pouring rain – pointless. Next time you have a bad hair day, Preity, do what the rest of us do – stay in bed.

Which is what she should have done because look what she spawned.

She convinced French actress Isabelle Adjani that this was the best way to imbibe the Indo-Western trend. I know weird, even been weird but this has to be the weirdest thing I’ve seen – an anarkali paired with a fedora. And it’s not even a joke. I mean, I don’t think so. No one’s laughing. Except maybe everyone on this side of the red carpet.

I almost forgot Preity’s slightly boring but cute-enough crumpled ensemble.