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Aishwarya Rai Bachchan is in Australia for the races as part of her tireless work for Longines.

And since she is around horses, it’s only respectful to wear fascinators. So she did. Or did she?

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For one event Aishwarya wore Mickey Mouse on her head.

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For another she wore that little twirl of dark chocolate you find on your chocolate pastry.

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Topi tales

Excuse us for the lack of posts. Our debauched existence is more of a hindrance than we perceived.

Aishwarya Rai Bachchan

Right so, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan showed up at the Royal Ascot and shared some birthing tips with Camilla Parker-Bowles to pass onto Kate Middleton. Then she bet more money on an injured horse than she did on Abhishek’s career. All while dressed like a 14-year-old with unlimited access to papa’s credit card.

While there’s nothing strictly wrong with her frock – I’m going to call it that and not a dress because it’s giving out a very frock-y vibe – I’m not blown away by it. Neither does it make me want to throw up violently. It’s really a lot like her career – okay but leaves me cold. Wow! That’s pot shots at the careers of two Bachchans in one post. I’m so going to pay for it.

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But let’s talk about the mandatory hat. Sorry, fascinator. It’s too matchy-matchy with her frock. I suspect the flower is a little overbearing, like her mother-in-law (I really am going to die a violent death). Why else would she be tilting her entire body to one side? Plus, flowers as a motif on fascinators are too blah. She could have worked with something more out there. Like a toilet brush or a TATA Sky dish.