Cut above the rest: Part Deux

The team of Fitoor headed out to launch the film’s trailer.

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Katrina Kaif  attended in a white Cushnie Et Ochs with an exposed zipper. Obviously, she looked great with her soft make-up and soft waves.

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She also happened to accessorise really well. That finger ring! I want it! I suspect I an obsessed with rings. Not in a I’m-almost-over-the-hill-and-must-get-married way but in a rings-are-amazing way.

PS: Her expression, though.

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Maybe Aditya Roy Kapur too is obsessed with rings  and is totally checking out Katrina’s ring.

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Grazia Young Fashion Awards

The Grazia (A guy friend pronounced it as grey-zee-ya and that’s how I’ve saved his number.) Young Fashion Awards were held and the, seemingly, fashionable people of the industry were in attendance.

Sonam is all the coolest brands

Sonam in all the coolest brands

Sonam Kapoor, as always, wore all of Paris Fashion Week. That’s a Jean Paul Gaultier suit, a Chanel bag, a Givenchy necklace and Alexander McQueen shoes. Even if she wanted to go all androgyny on us she could have had her person take the jacket in an inch or two.

In Nikhil Thampi

Esha Gupta in Nikhil Thampi

I always wonder about innerwear whenever I see a dress with such a high slit. Going commando might be too risky so do they wear a thong with sides that go really high or is there a stick on silicone underwear that holds everything in place like bras do? So many questions such little importance. In all this, I almost missed the gorgeous zipper detailing on the thigh.

Wearing Namrata Joshipura

Wearing Namrata Joshipura

I know that as an, allegedly, self-actualised woman I am supposed to be comfortable in my own skin but Lisa Haydon’s sheer perfection is making that very difficult. She just makes the rest of us look like dog shit.

In a Vivienne Westwood dress

In a Vivienne Westwood dress

That’s a supremely cute dress. Richa Chadda does not do cute. She should give it a shot more often, though. Also, she could try an expression that’s not one of cold impatience.

In In Farah Sanjana

In Farah Sanjana

Priyanka Bose’s (Johnny Gaddaar, Guzaarish) maxi is so far whacked-out that I might just like it. Incidentally, my father came back with a similar image when he went to see the flamingos at Sewri.

Anushka Manchanda in Anand Bhushan

Anushka Manchanda in Anand Bhushan

It was awfully quiet this weekend near my house. Now I know why.  The guys in my wadi could not play their game of volleyball because they could not find their net.

In Pankaj and Nidhi

In Pankaj and Nidhi

The dress is perfect and age-appropriate and weather-appropriate on Shraddha Kapoor. It’s the styling that falters a little. A black clutch with nude shoes and nude-r lips? What happened to good old fuchsia?

A reminder in case we forget the real issues in life

A reminder in case we forget the real issues in life

Tisca Chopra’s hair is playing spoilsport so you can’t clearly read what’s written. It reads ‘#Selfie’ and it’s by the brand Huemn. So, get this – a design house designed a t-shirt with a print that reads #Selfie (which is what Anuya does all the time when she is not thinking about taking a selfie) and Tisca, who seems like an intelligent person, chose to wear it. Willingly.

Aditi Rao Hydari in Gauri & Nainika and a Manish Arora statement neckpiece   

Aditi Rao Hydari in Gauri & Nainika and a Manish Arora statement neckpiece

Don’t be deceived, dear people. That is no gown. It’s a draped jumpsuit. If a jumpsuit is going to such lengths to camouflage its true identity, is it not better off as a gown?

Anjana Sukhani

Anjana Sukhani

The blouse would make Silk Smitha very proud and her pants are dying to be worn by Aladdin. But seriously, what is going on here? Are her pants trying to run away from the horror of the top starting with the crotch? Or her top is so grossed out by the pants that it has physically recoiled from the waistband? Only her shoes seem content in their oblivion.

Poorna Jagannathan in Gaurav Gupta

Poorna Jagannathan in Gaurav Gupta

Lamé in small doses is something I can handle but give it to me in an entire gown, draped over a few times and I’m going to want to put it through the shredder.

Sonal Chauhan in a Nikasha Lulla monstrosity

Sonal Chauhan in a Nishka Lulla monstrosity

Now this one just wants to make me jump with joy… off a cliff. Quick question. Nishka Lulla and Sonal Chauhan, should I hand you the gun or will you guys take care of this yourselves?

Bollywood's future

Bollywood’s future

When I saw this image I was like, “Wow! Someone is actually doing the whole princess thing in public and not just the demure Kate Middleton kind but the actual tiara and gown variety and that too in Bombay.” And then I looked closer and saw that these were the Femina Miss India winners and they HAVE to dress like this until they sign their first Bollywood film. So yeah, thanks for shattering my hopes, ladies.

IIFA-Q chale Amerika

Celebrities gathered for an IIFA press meet. The IFFAs will take place in Madhuri Dixit’s hometown of America.

Saif Ali Khan, Kareena Kapoor

Kareena Kapoor Khan: Really, Saif? I can’t believe I let you out of the house looking so overwhelmingly under dressed.

Saif Ali Khan, Kareena Kapoor1

Saif Ali Khan: You’re the one to talk. You have skunk skin on for a kurta.

IIFAKareena: Come back, Saifu. I was just joking, bro. Don’t take it so personally.

Saif: Personally? I’ll show you personal.

IFFA2Saif: Muah!

Kareena: Oh! Two can play this game, you know?

IIFA1Kareena: Muah!

Saif: Damn! I should leave the house badly dressed more often.

Anil Kapoor, Madhuri DixitMadhuri Dixit: Ah, yeh aaj kal ke bache. I don’t know what Saif’s problem is. That’s a lovely kurta with cute buttons on the shoulder.

Anil Kapoor: Hmm…

Madhuri: Is it just me or do we actually look younger than them? I mean, I know we had much better chemistry in Parinda and Beta than they ever had in Kurbaan.

Anil: Jhakaas!

Event shevent

An event took place/someone celebrated their birthday and people showed up. That’s as specific as it’s going to get.

With wife Malaika

With wife Malaika

Zayed Khan, belatedly, realised that the only way anyone would notice him is if he wore a florescent jacket and so he borrowed one from an Indian Railways employee. Either he has injured his leg or he has trained his pet python well.

In Burberry

In Burberry

Normally, I would balk at the idea of a trench coat worn in Bombay but lately our weather has been as predictable as Miley Cyrus so it’s good to see Kangana Ranaut dressed for the winter and the rains and even a hailstorm.

Shamita Shetty and Sophie Choudry

Shamita Shetty and Sophie Choudry

Sophie Choudry: Why do people keep inviting us to things?

Shamita Shetty: Who knows. The joke’s on them but.

Sophie Choudry: Yeah, I guess.

Bumpy ahead

Vidya Balan in Anand Kabra with Farhan Akhtar on Comedy Nights with Kapil

Vidya Balan in Anand Kabra with Farhan Akhtar on Koffee with Comedy Nights with Kapil

Oh My God! Vidya Balan has ankles. Who knew under all those saris and anarkalis she was hiding ankles?

The colour is that of a soothing Bloody Mary and I think I’m seeing her shoulder for the first time after that make out/marriage song in Parineeta. But let’s talk about the hair. Can we streak it white and use it as a speed breaker at Juhu Circle?

Farhan Akhtar makes a really good side effect. I have no notes for him except lose the jacket and t-shirt because such talent should not be hidden.

Calendar, khana do

Photographer Dabboo Ratnani launched his celebrity calendar and everyone attended looking a little tanned from their exotic holidays and whiny because they are back at work and hungover because hello, holidays. And like the rest of us, they too have refused to acknowledge the fact that holiday season is over and we have to now pay obeisance to our bosses.

DR-Gauhar Khan

Post her Bigg Boss win, Gauhar Khan is so going to pull a Shilpa Shetty. She looks pretty as a peach in this floral ensemble, all innocent like she did not… I’m looking to make an informed Bigg Boss reference when she was catty but I’ve not watched the ‘reality series’ so I’m blank.

DR-Sonakshi Sinha

Well, well. If this is not a New Year miracle I don’t know what is. Sonakshi Sinha looks so put together and well…clean. The lines of the dress are smooth, it’s the right length and the keyhole neckline is more sweet than sultry. And all this is offset by vixen hair and shoes.

DR-SRK

What’s up with Shah Rukh Khan? He’s never been the grumpy sort but of late he looks like he’s been chewing on some bitter amla. He’s always scowling. That photo of his does not wow me but I’m quite surprised that, considering he’s holding a cigarette, it does not come with a cautionary photo of lungs filled with tar.

DR-Poonam Dhillon

Poonam Dhillon looks like the aunty jo police bola legi.

DR-Person

I have no clue who that is but she thought it ok to leave the house in a blue animal print romper. People, I tell you.

DR-Bipasha Basu

And that is how you dress after news of your one-true-love’s marriage hits the headlines. Show him what he’s missing, Bipasha.

DR-Amit Sadh

Either Amit Sadh is having a bad hair day or Bombay really is experiencing winter. Why else would you wear a beanie, right?

DR-aditi govitrikar

Even the lady in the background can smell something funny about Aditi Govitrikar’s pants.

DR-Aditya Thackeray

Eh?

DR-Gulshan Grover

This one is just way too awesome in its composition. Nobody, and I mean nobody, does badass as well as Gulshan Grover. Ok, maybe Amrish Puri. But no one ALIVE does badass as well as Gulshan Grover. ‘Kabeera speaking’.

Check yourself, mate

Huma Quereshi

Huma Qureshi is wearing Two-Face’s customised chessboard.

My hair looks like this after I’ve forgotten to wash it for a few weeks  days. I fail to understand why her hairstylist spent that much time, effort and product to give her Gym Hair. 

Also STOP WITH THE COLOUR BLOCKING! Also Huma, FIRE YOUR STYLIST! Also I hear you might play Shabana Azmi in the Arth remake. Sweet. Now go dress better.

Actually, wait. No, it’s still just as bad.

Huma Quereshi1

Krrish 3 trailer

I watched the trailer of the mathematically incorrect Krrish 3 and man did that thing look stunning. I especially loved the bit where after the plane flies over an under construction building Krrish’s feet thump down on the pillar. Amazingly done.  The effects, the action… everything looked brilliant…and very familiar. Let’s break it down.

superman

Krrish lifts up a building (the Internet’s not throwing up the desired image) and I’m guessing saves an architectural gem in the bargain. If Superman can do some heavy lifting so can this Greek God. I know Krrish has superhuman strength but he could have expressed it in another fashion. Perhaps stopped a tsunami or filled Bombay’s potholes in a day.

krrish 3 kaya

Kangana Ranaut plays villain Kaya. While she looks great she also comes across as a hybrid of Catwoman, an anime warrior chick and the Tomb Raider. They could have designed a better costume for a female supervillain than a black bodysuit. I’m not saying put her in a sari or sharara. Unless she’s doing an item number.

krrish 3 item song

Speaking of which. No superhero film is complete without the hero and love interest prancing about.

medusa1

Black widow

That’s either Medusa or the Black Widow. Either way it’s not original.

Villiansilversurfer

The Silver Surfer’s been there done that and he had a flying surfboard. None of this walking crap for him.

Toad

toad1

Seriously, the Toad from the X-Men? Seriously!? Rakesh Roshan, go ahead, have a guy with Adamantium claws. We’ll all applaud your novel idea.

Hrithik wig

After investing so much in the special effects you’d think they could have at least given Hrithik a decent wig.  Also look at the trailer closely and you’ll see a strategically placed Bournvita dabba. Now we know his shakti ka raaz.

Kangana in a Burberry Brit dress and Gucci belt and tweed pumps

Kangana in a Burberry Brit dress and Gucci belt and tweed pumps

For the trailer launch, Kangana wore a sweetheart neckline, a lot like her supervillain costume. But let me tell you there is nothing sweet about the gorgeous cleavage on display. It’s sexy as hell and she knows it. What Hrithik has on is rather basic but that just adds to his appeal. He looks the perfect balance of I-don’t-care-enough-to-make-an-effort-but-I-can-still-melt-your-panties. In his few-inches-short jacket, Vivek Oberoi just seems happy that finally he can star in something other than his own fantasies.

Three’s a crowd

How long ago was it that Student of the Year released? Why are these three still a package?

Varun Dhawan, Alia Bhatt and Sidharth Malhotra at a Coke Studio event

Varun Dhawan, Alia Bhatt and Sidharth Malhotra at a Coke Studio event

I fail to see the logic behind torn jeans. People have to just stop wearing them. It’s rather simple, if you see a tear, darn it; if it’s torn a few inches make a washcloth of it or better yet DON’T BUY IT! Let’s not make it a trend, guys. Alia is wearing Sidharth’s shirt over her LBD which I think is a pretty cool way of ‘manning-up’ a girlie dress. Sidharth is doing just fine.

Phata poster nikla party

I was just wrapping my mind around the fact that a film’s success party is being hosted within days of its release and now the guys responsible for Phata Poster Nikla Hero threw a bash on the completion of their film. They finished filming and they celebrated that. While it is an occasion worthy of popping some bubbly it’s also a novel way of whoring your film.

Shahid Kapoor

Shahid Kapoor, who plays a guy who plays a cop pretending to be a cop, came dressed with the least intent to please. Maybe he too realised the futility of attending this party when actually they ought to be in the dubbing studio adding finishing touches or brainstorming over a more foolproof media plan than just a party.

Ileana D'Cruz

I don’t know about you but the otherwise pretty Ileana D’Cruz looks like a weird hybrid of Mahi Gill and Kim Sharma. Is it the slightly ill-fitting dress in the boob area or the fact that she has on way too much makeup for an event that actually should not be taking place? The offbeat choice of footwear is a plus, though.

hero

Hero Hirala is not impressed.