I am absolutely convinced that Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and Mallika Sherawat’s stylists are just messing with us. The two are probably seated in their suite at Cannes right now, soaked in cocktails and cackling about how they’ve kept the rest of us guessing when it comes to their client’s looks.
My appeal to them: It might be hilarious to you but for the sanity and sanctity of all that’s fashion and films, please stop. It’s too much for my muddled brain to process. I mean just a few days ago Aishwarya was living it up on the red carpet and now you have her in a hairstyle harking back to her Miss World days.
Sunehri rehti hain Andheri main magar sapne dekhti hain Cannes ke.
Aishwarya attended amfAR’s Cinema Against AIDS event where ‘The Ultimate Gold Collection Fashion Show’ was the highlight. When the invite mentions the word ‘gold’ it does not mean that you have to take it this literally. Everything is a shade of gold. And it’s not even a pretty shade like dull gold or rose gold but gold gold. Aishwarya go back to the Elie Saab. It’s your calling in life.
That’s not a saree. That’s the net King Triton uses to catch criminal mermen. That’s the Mithril armour Frodo found in the Mines of Moria. That’s, well, that’s, a LOT of fucking gold, is what that is. You can melt that down to make all the armour for Lord Tywin’s army…. and with that, my Game of Thrones referencing for the week is done.
I’m being totally Punk’d here, aren’t I? Is that Mallika trying to pass off as a Disney princess? Since when do Disney princesses show their bra straps? Or wear lower back support belts the colour of their gowns?
This has been a very bad day for me. I’m going to go dunk my head in a bucket of ice water.