Policegiri

Bollywood went all out for the Mumbai police show, Umang. It’s great to see our cops, who, on most days, get so much flak just for being cops, gettin’ jiggy wit it.

Kareena Kapoor Khan in Shivan & Narresh

Kareena Kapoor Khan in Shivan & Narresh

I guess we are still colour blocking. But this one works just fine. And it’s an actual sari. Not a fusion of a gown and sari. But a sari sari. So, points for that.

In Roberto Cavalli

In Roberto Cavalli

See, if a dress is even slightly unflattering to Katrina Kaif’s curves, I’m going to be living in an anarkali or the hills for the rest of my life. Not really. I’ll be living on a beach. Whatever. She looks good.

Hrithik Roshan

Hrithik Roshan

Man! You can never go wrong with a well-fitted suit, especially when it fits a body like that.

Ranveer Singh

Ranveer Singh

I’m loving that T-shirt. I’m going to get me self one and walk around in it all week till someone comments on its quirky coolness.

Anil Kapoor showing us how it's done

Anil Kapoor showing us how it’s done

I’m convinced Anil Kapoor has found the fountain of youth and sips from it daily using a gilded goblet. In a few years if Sonam Kapoor looks the same you’ll know it’s true.

Host Manish Paul with someone

Host Manish Paul with someone they call Madhuri

Sigh. Never change. You are ok, Madhuri.

Abhay Deol

Abhay Deol

Who can resist a guy in a snug leather jacket who also stands up for the rights of creative people and has innovative ways of protesting when said rights are violated?

Prabhu Deva

Prabhu Deva

That’s right. Everybody ought to stop and stare when the P-man dances.

Richa Chadda wears a Pankaj & Nidhi sari

Richa Chadda wears a Pankaj & Nidhi sari

It’s a sari! And that blouse reminds me of a jhola I carried to college.

Manish Paul, Karan Johar and Sachin Tendulkar

Manish Paul, Karan Johar and Sachin Tendulkar

Saachiinnn! Sachin! *dhum dhum dhum*

Shah Rukh Khan

Shah Rukh Khan

Shawty got low, low, low.

Shah Rukh Khan in a lungi and fedora like only he can pull it off

Shah Rukh Khan in a lungi and fedora like only he can pull it off

That’s how all cops should direct traffic from now on.

Sunny Deol

Sunny Deol

The dhai kilo ka haath in all its glory.

Ranveer Singh1

That’s all, folks.

PS: Why was ACP Pradyuman not the guest of honour?

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Screen Awards red carpet

The Screen Awards took place and we all held our breath just waiting to know who went home with the coveted trophy. But when it comes to the telecast, we don’t have a seven second delay but more like a seven week delay. So you will have to wait a little longer to know the winners. Or you could just Google it. Whatever.

Abhay Deol and Preeti Desai

Abhay Deol and Preeti Desai in a Bare in Black gown

This couples’ tanning thing really works. A little too well.

Adhuna and Farhan Akhtar

Adhuna and Farhan Akhtar

I love Adhuna’s quirky sense of style. It’s like her way of rebelling against the ‘star-wife’ label. More power to you, girl. And that is how you wear a velvet waistcoat with Jodhpur-ish pants.

Aditi Rao Hydari in Harsh Harsh

Aditi Rao Hydari in Harsh Harsh

This needs something more happening. It all seems very flat and sort of like a snorefest.

Anjana Sukhani

Anjana Sukhani

Dude, is that a full and final velvet gown!? Talk about subtle use of fabric.

Bipasha Basu in Manish Malhotra

Bipasha Basu in Manish Malhotra

And that is how you wear velvet and an anarkali. In small doses and with less ghera, respectively. She really is looking good, no? Maybe marriage is the answer.

Boman Irani

Boman Irani

Yes, I will shake your hand but only because you are awesome.

Chitrangda Singh in Dior

Chitrangda Singh in Dior

If her last look was all about drama this is a little anticlimatic. Maybe another colour or a more glamorous hairstyle would have worked. But don’t worry, Chitrangda, the world (my amma and I) still loves you.

Deepika Padukone in Alexander McQueen

Deepika Padukone in Alexander McQueen

I suspect this one has gone a little wrong. I can’t point out why exactly. But feel is not coming. Like kuch kuch nahi hota hai when I see this gown. Could it be because Kate Hudson wore it to the Golden Globes LAST YEAR?

Divya Dutta

Divya Dutta

Take a beach holiday, woman and go drown that attire while you are at it.

Yo Yo Honey Singh

Yo Yo Honey Singh

He is making some very rude gestures but given the nature of his lyrics I should not be surprised.

Huma Qureshi

Huma Qureshi in Nikhil Thampi

Yes, the sun really does shine out of Huma Qureshi’s ear. Even Kalki Koechlin seems to think so…

Kalki in Nikhil Thampi

Kalki in Nikhil Thampi too

We get it. Huma is not responsible for Kalki’s divorce. You guys are the best of friends and you, Kalki, even helped Huma into that earpiece type-thingy. That ornament has a legitimate name but I’ve forgotten it. And I refuse to Google it since the Internet and I are currently in a complicated relationship.

This is one of Huma’s better looks. The dress fits her curves well and for once her hair is doing good things. But I’m thinking I should just give up on cribbing whenever people bastardise the sari. I can see Kalki’s leg. Should she not be wearing a petticoat underneath? My grandmother would not approve.

Juhi Chawla

Juhi Chawla

Why is she still promoting Son of Sardar?

In Shantanu & Nikhil

In Shantanu & Nikhil

No, no, no. Kajol, don’t fall back into your old trap. You were doing so well. This look seems so closed-up and nun-like. Unless… she is trying to cover a big old hickey. That’s one expensive way of doing it, if you ask me. Just paste on a bandage next time.

In Ranna Gill

In Ranna Gill

Look who’s back! And I have nothing unpleasant to say about Neha Dhupia. Except maybe… actually, no. But, I do want to wake up next to that cuff every morning and bring it breakfast in bed.

Nimrat Kaur

Nimrat Kaur

I’m loving the hint of boobies, sorry décolletage and the hair pulled away to show them off. Yet, I’m unsure of the puffed sleeves.

Ranveer Singh

Ranveer Singh

The velvet jacket with the waistcoat seems a bit much. Like it was initially a three-piece tux, but since he is Ranveer Singh and eccentric and all that, his stylist chose the blue jacket.

Wearing Innana by Monica & Karishma

Wearing Monica & Karishma

Do you think it’s just that some people can’t pull-off gowns as well as others can? There really is nothing horrifyingly wrong with the look, apart from the fact that the pattern overwhelms and the stylist should have put her hair up. As in Richa Chadda’s.

Sona Mohapatra

Sona Mohapatra

This is how Anarkali (the person, not the trend) must have looked and felt like when the last brick was laid.

In an Amit GT gown

In an Amit GT gown

I don’t know what Sonakshi Sinha or her stylist have been smoking but pat yourselves on the back and roll another one.

In Gaurav Gupta

In Gaurav Gupta

This dress on Shruti Hassan reminds me of a cold night at the graveyard. Let me hasten to assure you that Shruti does not look like the undead, far from it, but something about the blue and black and net gives me an eerie feeling.

In Amritraj Bora

In Amritraj Bora showing way too much of her Boras

As does this one on Sonal Chauhan. Somewhere a koli has lost the day’s catch.

In a Manish Malhotra sari

In a Manish Malhotra sari

Who sends her invites and why? At least Sophie Chaudhary has the decency to dress well.

PS: Raise your hand if you are missing Sonam Kapoor.

With extra toppings

It’s no secret that Sonam Kapoor can whoop your ass when it comes to fashion. On her they cease to be clothes and become art. She carries them with such ease you’d think she was born in a Chanel LBD. She is terribly unapologetic about her choices. Except this one.

I suggest she fall down to her knees (if those pants let her) and beg forgiveness from the fashion god who refuses to answer prayers offered by the likes of us – the wearers of labeless rags.

Sonam’s always been in fashion fast forward mode so the ankle length pants teamed with a jacket, ruffled blouse and a rather funky tie is all in a day’s work for her. It’s the hair I can’t understand. From what my muddled brain can guess she wanted to don a fascinator but since this was a last minute request, her stylist suggested she twist her long, lustrous tresses into one. It looks too costumey and next to a casually dressed Abhay Deol looks like a holiday photo that you excitedly snap of your friend with the circus freak.