Pink it was…

Parineeti Chopra1

all just a little too gulabi.

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A closer look reveals a rather large diamond ring. I am tempted to start an engagement rumour but alas she is wearing it in the right hand. Maybe she is engaged and is playing a sneaky game only celebrities can and has slid the ring onto the ring finger of the wrong hand.

Let’s play a little game of our own.

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EYE TO EYE – It’s GIVEAWAY time!

The good folks at Maybelline India have decided that they want to give you free Colossal Kajal, so we were all, oh what the heck, you guys are totally awesome and you deserve it.

So we’ll have not one, but THREE winners, and all you need to do is complete this sentence:

“I need Colossal Kajal because…”

And because we are Fire Your Stylist, the answer to this has to be funny.

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Three of the FUNNIEST entries win! Leave them in the comments to this post.

More rules:

1. The contest closes on 1st October.

2. You HAVE to like us on FB to be eligible. HERE: https://www.facebook.com/FireYourStylist

So go forth. BE FREE. WIN KAJAL.

 

Oh so blue

Anushka Sharma – where has she been of late? – popped up to promote a whitening-blemish reducing-fragrance laced-world saving-poverty curing product that she’s the brand ambassador of.

In Oh My Love. As in "Oh My Love! What is she wearing!?"

In Oh My Love. As in “Oh My Love! What is she wearing!?”

The colour is actually nice on her and she carries the thigh-high slit well. The fit of the top-half is a little sloppy. Come on Anushka’s stylist, give her some definition. The lack of accessories and poorly-styled hair are not helping either. The shoes too lack funk.

Anushka Sharma1

The event was actually to announce the winners of a contest titled ‘Flaunt Your Back’ and that Anushka did. But where is the shape in the bottom-half?

Anushka was quoted as saying, “The contest has been amazing. The fact that you are encouraging women to be themselves and be confident is something that I vouch for.” This from a woman who endorses whitening everything. Sorry, cell repair.

Anushka Sharma

“You! Yes, you. My stylist. Are fired.”

Prep for the cold

Winter is coming (bring out the Champagne! That’s MY first ever Game of Thrones reference. I’ve just begun reading the series. I’m a long way to watching it, though.) and we (Bombay not included) needed to be accordingly suited up. Tommy Hilfiger realised this and launched their Fall/Holiday ’13 Collection.

And they got Sonam Kapoor to do the dirty work.

In Hilfiger, obviously

In Hilfiger, obviously

Keeping the high school prep theme in mind, Sonam wore a very preppy checked sweater and short skirt. I love the large, almost masculine collar and cuffs.  And of course the jhumkas are an addition that, I think, only Sonam could have pulled off.

Carol Gracias, Guy Who Hates Your Guts, Indrani Dasgupta, Candice Pinto, Guy Too Cool for School (an irony here)

Carol Gracias, Guy Who Hates Your Guts, Indrani Dasgupta, Candice Pinto, Guy Too Cool for School (an irony here)

The rest of the collection too is appropriately checked and preppy. Oh look at that coat Carol has slung over! I’d give my right arm to own it. But then again, my arm would probably melt away if I actually worn it here, in Bombay. I don’t know about furred cuffs on guys, though. In a non-sexual way, of course.

I’m a little wary about older guys, like people not actually in high school, wearing high school-themed stuff. It seems a little, I don’t know… clinging on to youth, I guess.  Because unless you are in a Karan Johar movie, I don’t know any high school kid who can afford Tommy themselves.  Also, is it just me or do the checks and especially the coat seem a little too Burberry-ish?

Christmas Has Come Early

And it’s called the Blender’s Pride – House of Style Fashion Tour 2013 Preview.

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Look, ma, I found the extras from the Don 3 title track song shoot!

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I like it when Neha Dhupia wears a truly quirky/cool outfit to show us that she doesn’t have to be conventional to dress awesome, but then ruins it by doing something silly like making her hair look like a pile of turd.

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Presenting, the villains of of Krissh 4! Starring Wendell Rodricks as Captain Pants! He flies around making people’s trousers turn weird mismatched shades, so that you look like a Govinda fan in your power business meeting and lose your clients as he sniggers, Dick Dastardly style, outside your window.

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THIS GUY, as modern-day Jafar from Aladdin, who did everything in his power to fit into this world but was given away when he wore his jeans inside his suit.

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And Evelyn Sharma as Fashion Victim Poison Ivy, who changed her outfit’s shade of green because she read on style.com that “NEON IS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!”

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And this, is PHOOL. She’s like the Indian version of The Joker, but she’s also a girly girl so she’s trying to find a balance with this outfit. She’s badassed it up with those fishnet-esque sleeves and by showing that those flowers are actually grabbing her boobs. It’s a subtle statement against all Bollywood sex scenes that begin with hero and heroine looking deeply into each other’s eyes and then the director cutting away to two flowers bumping uglies, because PHOOL, like Robin Hood, is an evil villain fighting for the good and the just.

Next change outfit: A Being Alien t-shirt to make a statement against aliens being unnecessarily vilified in Sci-fi movies.

Maharani Deepika hazir ho rahi hai

September is one of the most important months for fashion magazines because the fashion seasons change, the coolest shows (London, New York, Paris) happen in this month and designers also release their look books. This is, of course, in keeping with the international standards but if Vogue India does not insist on following international diktats, I don’t know who will.  So after, what I’m guessing, was a 2-minute discussion during a sutta break on who to pick as their September cover girl they chose…

Gasp! Deepika Padukone.

In Marchesa

In Marchesa

Deepika might be Bollywood’s reigning queen (a dark, dark day in our lives) but Vogue went really literal when they plonked a crown on her. I won’t be surprised if they sourced it from the queen of England herself. It’s Vogue, I won’t put it past them.

Aside: To get rid of dark circles, as one of the cover lines states, if Vogue is suggesting a good night’s sleep, I’d like to invite them post 10 pm to where I stay. Balam Pichkari has been blaring for the last 10 days. It’s a holi song, Ganpati does not really care about it.

Also if one of the ways to eat and cheat to losing weight is smaller portions, my question to Vogue is just how do you have only one strip of bacon? How!? You have to be dead inside to stop at just one.  Dead, I say. DEAD! Damnit! Now I want a double beef burger.

Of course I will be horribly shamed if neither of the two make the list.

In Dolce & Gabbana

In Dolce & Gabbana

This is another version of the same theory. The one about royalty not burgers. Only this one’s more medieval. I love the metallic bustier. It’s so badass, like a warrior princess on her day off.  And it’s got a peplum  that does not fall flat. It’s like her own personal merry-go-round. Her finger is reaching out to press the ‘on’ button even.

RamLeela like SanjayLeela

Behold! The closest Bollywood will ever come to a threesome.

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I wonder if Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s glasses woke up this morning feeling a little blue and tweeted an emo tweet that Deepika and Ranveer picked up on, and thus ended up surprising said glasses with a tandem kiss as a reminder that life isn’t that bad, even though Ramleela looks like Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam met Ishaqzaade in jail and made a prison baby.

Which explains why both Ranveer Singh AND Deepika Padukone are wearing upholstery – they ran away from prison, broke into an abandoned house which had only plus size clothes so they improvised with the carpet and the tablecloth.

Deeps, babez, you are totes boring me with these now.

Zoozoo Ke Saath 7

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ZOOZOO: Salman

SALMAN: Zoozoo

ZOOZOO: You are wearing snakeskin shoes… and a matching belt.

SALMAN: You are wearing… is that a body-diaper?

ZOOZOO: IT’S A WHITE LEOTARD BUT WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT FASHION?

SALMAN: Only enough to not discuss it with a Zoozoo.

ZOOZOO: That’s hurtful!

SALMAN: I’m sorry! SORRY! Unless you’re poor or a black buck. Are you any of those?

ZOOZOO: Just shut up and hold my hand, will you?

Gucci Gucci Hota Hain

Look, it’s Kangana Ranaut, India’s answer to Mystique, Catwoman and a Screaming Banshee all rolled into one!

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Right now she is being “GREY” Pink’s dour-faced sister who works part-time on Broadway as part of the CATS! ensemble and didn’t have enough time to change or draw on eyebrows before Rakesh Roshan’s birthday bash last night.

SERIOUSLY GUYS, SHE HAS NO EYEBROWS.

I am not getting any sleep tonight, am I?

That’s Soooo Kareena

I love it when Kareena makes an effort.

kareena-kapoor-unveils-filmfare-magazines-september-2013-cover-page-64647_600 (1)

In Soup by Sougat Paul

Even though sometimes it ends up looking like she’s hidden a baby dalmatian in her boob.

(P.S. LOVE the look. Experimenting with sarees always makes my heart happy like a Honey Singh backup dancer.)