Filmfare Nominations Party – Part Deux

(I used “deux” in the title because I’m haute couture. I used haute couture because I wanted to see you struggle pronouncing it. – Anuya)

Because Sri Devi’s, well, vintage like a bottle of wine, I will let it go that she doesn’t know that the “Bring your chihuahua to the Red Carpet!” trend has long been consigned to the back of everyone’s closet. Although, I’m sure that dyeing your pet to match your outfit constitutes SOME form of animal cruelty. ARE YOU READING THIS, PETA?

AND, I GOT THE FULL LENGTH. WISH I HADN’T, BOYS. WISH I HADN’T.

What gives with the pants, Padukone? Are you smuggling Tyrion Lannister under there? Blink once if yes. Blink twice if no. Then call your stylist and have her bike an emergency pair of skinny jeans over. You’re welcome.

“Well, hello beautiful.”

Speaking of Lannisters, here’s their sigil.

I like. Such an improvement from last year. She dressed her age, and the white and pink just brings out her own natural skin tone. Little weird in the boob-al support, but hey, you can’t have everything.

I like it when the young don’t take things too seriously and mix it up a little. This is your age to have some fun, go nuts with your clothes! Well done, Varun Malhotra/ Siddharth Dhavan whichever one you are.

What do you get when you mix a praying mantis and a Bollywood star and then dip them in cement? I think you know the answer to that.

Colors Screen Awards

Award season is here! And even though most of us treat it like bird droppings on a white shirt — annoying but harmless, a conversation starter and even a good omen — Anuya and I live for it. It gives us something to do other than bitch and whine about the crappy movies we had to endure during the year. What could be better than these very crappy movies being awarded? I’ll tell you what. The preceding Red Carpet. For some it’s a victory lap for others it’s a walk of shame.

This is how Bollywood dressed for the 19th Colors Screen Awards.

Deepika Padukone1

I love the colour on Deepika Padukone but I’m not sure about the lace overlay. But if you have a body like that and a face like that and hair that falls in perfect waves, you can pretty much wear what the hell you want.

Sonakshi Sinha

What do all those symbols on Sonakshi Sinha’s gown stand for? Is this a coded message for Prof Robert Langdon? Let us know if Hinduism needs to be saved, Sonakshi. But seriously, why are the wings of a bleached crow holding up your breasts?

Ranveer Singh

Ranveer Singh seems to be under the impression that he looks ‘cool’ in anything he chooses to wear. Sorry but you ain’t rumoured girlfriend Deepika. So show some respect even to the 19th Colors Screen Awards and put on some well-cut pants.

Parineeti Chopra1

Does Parineeti Chopra have a rash? Is she recovering from a sunburn? Does she play a Victorian slave in her next film? Why else would she be dressed like a body bag with a bow and hairband?

Huma Qureshi

Huma Qureshi, stop employing Parineeti’s stylist.

Ameesha Patel

You know it’s a dark day in fashion when Ameesha Patel looks less trashy. By some weird stroke of luck or a hard look in the mirror, Ameesha ditched her previous ‘look at me, look at me’ avatar for this surprisingly subtle-sexy look. I am so overwhelmed that I won’t even question her presence at a Bollywood awards show.

UPDATE: Looks like I spoke too soon. A VERY observant friend pointed out that you can actually see her nipple pasties. Guess old habits die hard.

Alia Bhatt

The awesomeness of this dress is lost on Alia Bhatt.

INDIA-ARTS-ENTERTAINMENT

Gauri Khan looks refreshingly sober here. Her tan seems to have dulled to a more human hue and the dress is simple and elegant. The shoes and clutch do not deserve a mention.

INDIA-ARTS-ENTERTAINMENT

The sheer talent in this photo is blinding.

Cherry Pi

Director Ang Lee, Tabu and Suraj Sharma taking Life of Pi to the Golden Globes

Director Ang Lee, Tabu and Suraj Sharma take Life of Pi to the Golden Globes

I was so busy cracking up at Tina Fey and Amy Poehler that I forgot actual films and TV series were nominated at the Golden Globes. To add to that it slipped my mind that Life of Pi was in the running. Obviously not because the film is so forgettable (as if), I just forgot to take my medication. Then imagine my surprise when I see Tabu looking this stunning.

Red on the Red Carpet is super tricky but Tabu pulls it off effortlessly in this Abu Jani-Sandeep Khosla sari. The sari is draped to perfection and conceals more than it shows off. The golden embellished blouse (a nod to the Golden Globes?) is the perfect complement to the plain sari. Tabu does not overdo the ‘Indianness’ but does not abandon her roots either.

Wonder why Aishwarya Rai Bachchan does not wear Abu Jani-Sandeep Khosla’s designs this well.

Filmfare Nominations Party – FLASHBACK 2012.

(Since the 2013 pics will prolly only show up by tomorrow, and I’m feeling a surge of creativity travel up my spine, this is a trip down memory lane.)

(The above sentence is a lie. I wrote all of this and realised 5 pics later that these pics were actually from the 2012 party. BUT IT’S FUNNY SO ENJOY.)

filmfare1

Dear Huma Qureshi, please forget everything I said about becoming besties with Kalki for a better sense of style. Next time you see her, throw a cloak at her and RUN. The world doesn’t need to see this.

From Chandni Chowk to Chinaaaa. TYAOON NYAOON.

I don’t know her name so I’m going to call her the “Poor Man’s Asin”. Which is also, basically Asin, but let’s forgo the technicalities for a bit and admire her blue eye make up, also known as, where’s the prosti tonight?

Has anyone else made the “Sonali Bend-re #TINAI” joke yet? 

Filmfare Nominations Party – Part 1

(This post will keep getting updated as and when I find more Bollywood bakras – Anuya.)

(THIS POST UPDATES ITSELF! – Joey.)

Don’t have a full length, but that jacket is HOT. Her hair looks like a witch could use it to travel from here to Minnesota, not sure I’d have chosen such a basic top, and the lack of a necklace is disconcerting, but the jacket? It’s HOT.

Looks like someone has taken “Daag acchey hain” too literally.

NO YA. MCH. HUMA QURESHI. YOU’RE HOT AND YOU CAN ACT. HIRE A STYLIST/ BECOME BEST FRIENDS WITH KALKI. YOU CAN DO IT.

Karan Johar, auditioning for Hangover Part 4.

I sort of like this, in a I sort of like the new flavour at Costa kind of way. It’s a nice colour, but I can’t help but wonder if she and her stylist sat together and had a discussion on the topic “What’s-the-best-way-for-me-to-subliminally-tell-directors-that-I-want-to-be-in-a-sci-fi-movie? I-know-I’ll-make-your-dress-look-like-a-straight-jacket!”

Oh, and that eye make up? It needs its own blog. Anyone up for “Fire Your Make Up Artist”?

Someone tell me.

Who are these women and do they work for Chandler’s Dad’s tranny cruise? 

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