Golden girl

Asin celebrating Onam

The Malayalee harvest festival of Onam was a few days ago and Asin being the proud Malayalee that she is celebrated this festival in the cosmopolitan city of Bombay.

She is wearing the traditional sari with the gold border and like all good Malayalees lots of gold as well. I, being a Malayalee, have, on more occasions than I am comfortable, had to dress a lot like this. But never once have I looked anywhere as great as she does. That may be because I’m too busy hunting for the payasam to bother about the pleats of my sari. But how awesome is her jewellery? It’s traditional yet terribly contemporary and they match her bangles. Great thought has gone into her look and you just know she’s kicked about the festivities. Maybe she’s into the payasam too.

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Sweet treat

Ranbir Kapoor looks yummy promoting Barfi in the UK

It’s not a great photo but the angle is umm.. interesting. Whatever. I am totally sold on Ranbir Kapoor. Not in a I’m-your-crazy-fan-make-friendship-with-me way but in a I-admire-your-work-and-one-day-we-can-exchange-notes-on-the-fast-changing-Bollywood-while-we-play-footsie-under-the-table way.

It’s such a pity that he chose to wear three layers. Damn you cold English weather. I much liked him in a lot less.

Having said that, Barfi is looking like quite the sweet treat and I’m not a giggly fan girl and I don’t fantasise about accidentally running into him in the elevator and being stuck there for a few hours.

50 Shades of Grey

Guys look! It’s Neha Dhupia again. Are you wondering if they pay her to show up everywhere like Paris Hilton? I am, because if she isn’t getting paid, the fact that she has the time to go to every event from Pappu Producer’s grand-nephew’s naam-karan to the launch of the new Shahrukh Khan movie is a little depressing.

UNLESS. SHE HAS CLONED HERSELF.

Yes! And her avatars are roaming the streets of Mumbai, looking for events on Pinkvilla’s cannon-fodder list to photobomb with dowdy grey dresses.

This is her at the Retail Jeweller India Awards (no I didn’t make them up) wearing something that her friendly neighbourhood tailor threw together in a jiffy – even using the extra material to stitch a matching purse. Must’ve been a good deal! Like the necklace she picked up while she was travelling in the second class from Andheri to Mahim.

As far as the makeup is concerned, the little we say about putting Dalda on your face, the better.

What never to wear

Soha Ali Khan seen in what one should never wear at the launch of her show What Not To Wear India

Soha Ali Khan does not look happy. Frankly, I don’t know what her problem is. She just landed a gig hosting What Not To Wear India. I’d be jumping for joy and throwing a massive party whose theme would be Jumping for Joy. Bring out the trampoline! But Soha must have seen the promos and realised that she, along with designer Aki Narula, lack the crazy chutzpah (I love that word. It sounds like a swear word but is not really) of Trinny and Susannah. I did not see any boob-grabbing, ass-whacking or stomach-pinching in the promos. How can you have a What Not To Wear series minus all these vital elements?

And how can the host of said series wear a boring black dress with a boring black belt and shoes that cure insomnia? And if you thought the jewellery could spruce up the look, shame on you. Soha will choose to wear dull gold earrings and a cuff that will not help her cause.

India is in such trusted fashion hands.

Twisted logic

Sonali Bendre walking the ramp for Anand Shah at IIJW 2012

With all the fashion weeks happening around the country how does the industry (Fashion and Bollywood) get any work done? It’s just one endless ramp walk right into an after party. Look at me sounding like I lead this life and am just so fashionably bored of it.

Sonali Bendre seems to like it just fine. She looks stunning. The dress is basic black and no great shakes but fits her well. Since the focus is the jewellery let’s talk about it without snorting at it. It could be either of the following –

  • Twizzlers twisted into a pattern with purple Gems fashioned as, well gem stones. It would have been much longer but Sonali snacked on it backstage as she waited for her turn.
  • Colourful rubber bands normally used to tie extra large packets of potato wafers.
  • Wire used to make tiny bicycles or rickshaws sold for Rs 10 at the station, whose wheels, stupid you, thinks actually spin. (This may or may not have happened to me.)
  • Great artistry that’s beyond comprehension of the layperson and hence they choose to ridicule it.

Am I the Only One…

… who thinks that her necklace is going to keep growing southwards until it wraps itself around her and she becomes a giant, bejeweled Tree of Bling?

Dia Mirza in Golecha’s Jewel’s at IIJW12… (Agar Dia Mirza Golecha ke jewels pehnegi, to Golecha kya pehnegi?)

In other words: Weird lace dress with a 50 Shades of Grey hangover, nice-jewellery that doesn’t really match, stunning makeup, but it doesn’t all come together. At least a Tree of Bling would’ve been something to talk about.

Booked

So it would seem like ALL of Bollywood showed up to launch designers Abu Jani-Sandeep Khosla’s book. And like these things usually go there was a lot of bling, bandhgalas and Bachchans. Here’s how the evening looked from where we were sitting…

There’s a lot going on here in terms of the embroidery and colours which are always plenty in an Abu Jani-Sandeep Khosla creation. And is that Aishwarya Rai Bachchan in a FORM FITTING kameez? Finally someone talked her out of those anarkalis. Have they stopped taking Abhishek out in public because he’s been a bit of a disappointment?

Now that, right there is the definition of an actor – talented and uninhibited. Tabu rarely makes fashion news – good or bad – but this one time she’s got it right. The kameez is heavily embroidered so she smartly skips the jewellery. The wild curls just add to everything.

The beautiful, soft yellow on Deepika Padukone gets its wicked edge courtesy those sparkly shoes for which I am willing to sell my tainted soul. The loose bun with the flower popped in it gives her a desi good girl vibe but lord, those shoes are something else. Will God forgive me if I pray for these tonight and not my family’s happiness?

Simi Garewal got to the shindig straight from mass. She stopped getting it right a long time ago. And what exactly is she wearing?

In my last post about Sussanne Roshan I blabbered on about how she almost gets a look right but there’s always something amiss. Well, looks like I’ve been proven right. Yes, modesty is one of my virtues. I love her dress. It’s got the bling that, basically, was a prerequisite at the event but if Deepika got her shoes bang on, Sussanne’s not could have been further from the mark. Her stylist probably suggested this pair so that it would not draw attention from the dress. But they look sad and beaten like they just ran a marathon in the rain.

When Kangana Ranaut received the invite that, I’m guessing, said that attire was strictly Abu Jani-Sandeep Khosla, she flipped the bird and promptly ran to her three-room closet (a long standing fantasy of mine) and whipped out this highly inappropriate-for-the-event checked dress. Then to spite everyone she slipped on a pair of cat eye glasses. What got everyone’s goat was that while they had trouble during the bathroom break, Kangana just hopped on and hopped off like any other day.

Cops and evening gowns

This is at the First Look of Prakash Jha’s Chakravyuh. Esha Gupta is actually a part of the film and not just randomly walking in for her picture to be taken. I’m so weary of actors dressing as their characters to promote their movies that Esha’s choice of attire is a surprise. Not really a pleasant one. In the film she plays an intelligence officer dealing with the Naxals and I hope she does not report to duty looking like she was left behind from the 1920s.

It’s an interesting choice but I don’t think it really pays off. It’s too drape-y and the golden embellishments under the bust are less than elegant. The hair gives it the ’20s swinging vibe but I so wish she’d have saved it for another dress. The makeup, though, is subtle and perfect.

As an aside…

…this is how I feel after watching most of Arjun Rampal’s performances. Yes, including the National Award winning one in Rock On!!

Super-duper dude

Take a good look, people. This is the face of a superdude.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Ashmit Patel noted down those words at the bottom of his t-shirt to look them up in the dictionary after his superdude duties were over. Which I don’t think he will ever be done with because being a superdude is a full-time job. But Ashmit makes it look so cool and easy especially with his backward cap.

Also I so wish I was a Capricorn, just like superdude Ashmit.

Fusion confusion

It’s a sari! It’s a half sari? It’s a badly draped sari. It’s… confusing and not great to look at.

There are few things I don’t mind going down the fusion, read, bastardised route – music, food and some elements of fashion. But please, please leave those five yards of pure artistry alone and do it the way God intended.

Evidently Manasi Scott did not get my memo. She is wearing what is essentially a skirt with pleats teamed with a short top and a shawl. And that, ladies and gentleman, is how the ‘modern’ woman likes her sari – bastardised.

The kamarband is too much, the hair is crap and the lack of makeup is dulling the entire look. I might want the envelope clutch, though (which looks completely out of place, but still).

Where is Sabyasachi Mukherjee when you need him?